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by massivedrickhead



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Beca Mitchell-centric, Eventual Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22418746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/massivedrickhead/pseuds/massivedrickhead
Summary: A snapshot of Beca Mitchell's time at Hogwarts
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78
Collections: Finishedstoriesmine





	1. First Year

**Author's Note:**

> So I posted this Bechloe/Harry Potter AU on another popular fan fiction website last year and it didn't really get much of a response. Everyone's been telling me to get an ao3 account for years so I finally got one and I wanted to post something on here so it wasn't just empty while I work on new stuff. I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> I'm massivedrickhead on Tumblr if you'd like to follow me there.

**_Beca stood, breathing heavily, her wand pointed at the Death Eater in front of her. She could feel blood running down the side of her head, and she could taste it in her mouth._ **

**_The Death Eater was already pointing his own wand at her. His arm was shaking slightly, but she could see the hatred shining in his eyes behind the mask he wore._ **

**_She knew those eyes._ **

**_She knew that mask._ **

* * *

It was September 1st, and Beca was dragging her trunk towards her Dad’s car. He was tapping his keys impatiently against leg.

It was her first day of Hogwarts, and her stomach was churning with nerves. She couldn’t believe the day had finally arrived. She was finally, finally, going to see the famous school she’d heard so much about.

She was finally going to get away from her dad.

“Hurry up,” he snapped, watching without helping while she lifted her heavy trunk into the back of the car.

“Sorry,” she said, climbing into the car.

He didn’t answer, he just climbed in beside her and started driving.

It didn’t take them long to get to Kings Cross. Beca knew her dad had magically altered the car so it could beat traffic.

Given his complete hatred of all things muggle-related, she wondered why he bothered with a car at all. But, of course, she didn’t say that.

He didn’t see her into the station, but before she got out of the car his hand closed around her upper arm.

“Remember who you are, Rebeca. You’re a Mitchell. Do not disgrace me,” he said. His hand tightened until it was painful. “And if anyone asks about your mother,” he squeezed harder still, “she was just some witch you never met. Understand?”

She wrenched her arm free, but nodded, blinking back tears.

“I’ll see you in the summer,” he said.

She felt a flood of relief at the thought. She got out of the car, got her trunk, and made her way into the station.

Her dad her told her how to get to platform 9 and ¾, and, after the heart stopping moment of falling through the barrier, she was on the platform. The scarlet Hogwarts Express was billowing steam across the platform and, for a second, Beca forgot she was supposed to be nervous. She pushed the trolly holding her trunk along the platform, gazing open mouthed at the sheer volume of witches and wizards surrounding her.

She’d grown up in the wizarding world, so it wasn’t like seeing witches and wizards was new for her. But this was the first time she’d seen them looking so…happy. And she’d never seen so many her own age before.

A group of wizards a couple of years older than her knocked into her as they ran past, laughing, and Beca stumbled slightly. She bumped into a girl her age with red hair and piercing blue eyes.

Beca swallowed hard.

“S-sorry,” she stammered.

The redhead flashed a grin at her.

“No problem!” She replied, brightly, before turning away to carry on her conversation.

She made her way to the train and, with some difficulty, heaved her trunk onto the train and into an empty compartment.

She took a minute to catch her breath.

She was on the Hogwarts Express! She was finally going. She took her wand out of her pocket and held it in her hands. Enjoying the weight and feel of it as she remembered what Ollivander had said a few weeks earlier.

“Alder!” He said, describing the wood as he placed it in her hands. “Unicorn hair core, 10 and ¾ inches!”

Beca felt a rush of warm run through her, as if she’d just swallowed Butterbeer.

“I think we have a match,” he said, clapping his hands together. “Curious… given your family name… Unicorn hair is often resistant to, um, dark magic. But, the wand chooses the wizard, after all!”

Beca remembered her warm feeling had been extinguished, like she’d swallowed ice water, when Ollivander had mentioned dark magic.

She didn’t have time to dwell though, as the door to her compartment was slid open, revealing the redhead from earlier and a rather uptight looking blonde.

“Can we sit in here?” The redhead asked, gesturing to the empty seats opposite.

“Sure,” Beca said, putting her wand away.

“I’m Chloe!” The redhead said happily, holding out her hand. “Chloe Beale.”

Beca shook it, feeling herself blush. “I’m Beca.” She hesitated. “Beca Mitchell.”

The blonde’s eyes narrowed. “Mitchell?”

Beca nodded, avoiding eye-contact.

“Mitchell like John Mitchell?”

“Yeah,” Beca said, her throat dry. “He’s my dad.”

“Oh,” Aubrey said, looking vaguely disgusted. “Chloe, maybe we should sit somewhere-”

“Don’t be silly Aubrey!” Chloe said, still cheerful.

“I'm… I’m not like my dad,” she said. “I’m nothing like my dad.”

Aubrey opened her mouth to say something but the door slid open again.

“What’s up witches!” A loud girl with an Australian accent said, standing in the doorway. She was already wearing her robes, a red and gold striped tie tied around her neck. “I’m Fat Amy, I’m just looking for first years so I can play guess the house. Everyone I get right earns me a galleon.” She stared at the three girls in front of her. She pointed at Beca. “Slytherin,” she said, as though the word left a bad taste in her mouth. She pointed at Aubrey. “Hmm. Ravenclaw. Or maybe a fellow Gryffindor? Actually,” she squinted and tilted her head, “you’ve got the ruthless, cold eyes of a Slytherin.” She let out a huff of frustration. “Look, I’m just gonna say Ravenclaw. So when the Sorting Hat asks you, make sure you pick it.”

“The Sorting Hat will ask?” Beca said, trying not to sound too hopeful.

“Sure,” Amy said. “Especially if it can’t decide. So you might have a chance to get away from Slytherin! But please don’t, I need the money.”

“You didn’t sort me,” Chloe said, brightly.

“Oh sweetie,” Amy said, “you’re a Hufflepuff if ever there was one. Anyway, I’ll be off. I heard Harry Potter is on this train, so I’m gonna go gawk at him.”

And with that, she slid the door shut, and the girls were alone again.

“Do you really think you’ll be in Slytherin?” Chloe asked, sounding something less than cheerful for the first time.

Beca shrugged. “My dad was. And his parents. And their parents. It usually runs in your blood, doesn’t it?”

“Not necessarily,” Aubrey said. “My Dad was in Ravenclaw, but his parents were both Gryffindors.”

“What house was your Mom in?” Chloe asked.

Beca swallowed, remembering the lie she was supposed to say. “I… I never met my Mom,” Beca said. _She was just some witch you never met,_ she heard her Dad’s voice in her head. _Some witch_. “She died when I was born.”

“Oh,” Chloe said. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Beca said.

“So you don’t even know what house she was in?” Aubrey asked, earning a scowl from Chloe.

“N-no,” Beca said. _Some witch you never met_. “Dad doesn’t like talking about her.” Beca searched around for something to say. “What about your family?” She asked Chloe.

“Oh, that Amy girl was right. I’m a Hufflepuff for sure. My whole family have been Puffs for generations. Cut me open, I bleed black and yellow,” Chloe said, smiling wistfully.

“You’re so weird,” Aubrey said, shaking her head, and Beca laughed.

The sound of Beca’s laughter caused Chloe’s eyes to sparkle. Like it was the best sound she’d ever heard.

The three girls carried on talking, or, more accurately, Chloe kept on talking while Beca and Aubrey joined in occasionally. The sky outside was beginning to darken when Aubrey suggested they change into their robes.

Beca turned her back to the other two girls as she changed. She felt her stomach lurch as a hand lightly touched the bruise on her arm she had gotten from her dad in the car. Beca quickly shoved it into her sleeve and finished dressing.

“How did you get that?” Chloe asked, already changed. She shook her head a second later. “Sorry. I’m really bad at, like, judging boundaries. I shouldn’t have asked that.”

“It’s okay,” Beca said. “I think I must have knocked it on something.”

Chloe opened her mouth to respond, perhaps to indicate that she didn’t believe her, but then closed it again.

The train rumbled to a halt, and prefects began walking down the corridor, calling for first years to follow them.

Beca, Chloe and Aubrey made their way onto the platform and were jostled together with the other first years, who were easy to spot. They didn’t have house colours adorning their robes for one thing, and they all looked a mixture of both excited and terrified.

She bumped into a boy about the same height as her, which was saying something considering how small she was, and gave him a nervous smile before realising with a jolt that it was Harry Potter.

She didn’t get a chance to say anything to him, as they were both put in separate boats. Beca was still with Chloe and Aubrey, with the addition of a couple of other nervous looking kids.

A giant of a man, who had introduced himself as Hagrid, was saying something in a booming voice as the boats started to move. Beca felt another thrill of excitement ripple through her as she remembered once again that this was real. All those years of waiting had lead to this day, this moment, and it was finally happening.

She glanced at Chloe who looked as excited as she felt, and Beca managed another smile. She realised she’d smiled more in the last few hours than she had in the past year.

“Yell get yer firs’ look at Hogwarts in a minute,” Hagrid called from the leading boat.

Beca held her breath, promising herself she would remember this moment forever.

The boats moved past a line of trees and suddenly, there it was.

Hogwarts.

Home.

“Oh my stars,” one of the girls in the boat with them whispered, and Beca couldn’t even bring herself to laugh at the cheesiness of it.

The rest of the journey finished quickly, and soon they were being lead down the Great Hall to be sorted. They all gaped at the ceiling, which was showing an incredible night sky. Not even the mutterings of some girl telling them it was just an enchantment could dull Beca’s feeling of amazement.

And then the sorting began.

Benjamin Applebaum was sorted into Ravenclaw.

Chloe Beale went, of course, into Hufflepuff.

A tall, brown haired girl called Stacie Conrad was the first Slytherin, and Beca thought she saw her smile falter slightly before she joined the table of cheering Slytherin students.

The girl who had said ‘Oh my stars!’ in their boat turned out to be a girl name Emily Junk, who joined Chloe in Hufflepuff.

More and more were sorted. A blonde boy with a sly grin named Draco Malfoy was sorted into Slytherin before the hat had even left McGonagall’s hand, and then suddenly, it was Beca’s turn.

She heard mutterings from the Slytherin table at the sound of her surname, and she made her way nervously to the stool.

When the hat touched her, she heard a rough, raspy voice inside her head.

“Ah, Mitchell is it?” The voice that she knew belonged to the hat said. Beca didn’t know how to reply, none of the other students had talked aloud, so she just thought _yes_. “Pretty obvious where to put you, don’t you think?” _Yes_ , Beca thought again, though she felt her shoulders sag. “Or maybe not?” The hat said, a note of amusement in his voice. “You could go anywhere, you know. You’ve got the brains for Ravenclaw and the ambition for Slytherin. You’re loyal, you’d be happy in Hufflepuff. And Gryffindor… Wouldn’t that be a one for the books? And why not? You’ve got the courage. So where should you go?”

But Beca couldn’t answer. She knew where she wanted to go. She wanted to be anywhere other than Slytherin. She wanted to escape the reputation her surname gave her. She’d be happy in Hufflepuff, with Chloe. She almost told the hat to put her there, when her dad’s voice bubbled up out of nowhere.

_Remember who you are._

Her dad… He’d be furious if she ended up in any other house. The thought of displeasing him like that made her stomach feel like it had turned to liquid.

To choose any other house would be madness. It was the type of thing a Gryffindor might do.

But she wasn’t a Gryffindor. She wasn’t brave.

If she wanted to survive her next visit home, she knew what she had to do.

_Put me in Slytherin_ , she thought.

“Very well,” the hat said, in her head. “Slytherin!” He called out to the Great Hall.

The table of green-clad students were stamping their feet and banging on the table, and she went and sat next to the girl Stacie.

“You don’t look so happy to be here,” Stacie mumbled, just low enough for Beca to hear.

“Neither do you,” Beca said, as Aubrey was placed in Gryffindor, after some deliberation.

“No,” Stacie said. “I’m not.”

“Me neither,” Beca said, watching as the hat was placed on Harry Potter. The room was silent.

“Friends?” Stacie asked, holding out a hand.

“Friends,” Beca said, shaking it. She looked across the hall at the Hufflepuff table and made eye-contact with Chloe. She smiled at her, and Beca felt a swooping feeling of relief when Chloe smiled back.

There was a roar of noise from the Gryffindor table as Harry Potter went to join them, but Beca’s eyes never left Chloe’s.

_Friends_.


	2. Second Year

**“Beca,” a voice groaned from the ground beside her.**

**Beca did not, could not, take her eyes of the Death Eater in front of her. She felt like if she did, he would either attack, or escape.**

**Yet she couldn’t bring herself to attack first.**

**“Beca,” the voice groaned again. “Help.”**

* * *

“So?” Stacie asked, sitting on the bottom of Beca’s bed, crossing her legs.

Beca spent most of her time in their dormitory these days. Last year, she spent more time in the common room with the other Slytherins, but ever since this Heir of Slytherin stuff started happening, talk in the common room turned more and more into how muggle-borns didn’t belong in Hogwarts, which Beca, of course, didn’t agree with. So Beca spent most of her time out the way.

“So what?” Beca asked, looking up from her book. She was reading up on the disarming charm. She hadn’t managed to get to grips with the wand movement, and their Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was, to put it mildly, an idiot.

“Are you gonna come audition for Flitwick’s choir or not?” Stacie asked.

Beca rolled her eyes. “Not,” she said, looking back at her book. Stacie took it out of her hands with a huff of annoyance. “Dude!”

“Why not?” Stacie asked.

“Why would I?”

“Because,” Stacie held up a finger, “you’re good at singing,” she held up a second, “you actually like singing,” she held up a third, “I don’t want to be the only Slytherin there.”

“Imagine what my dad would say if I joined a choir,” Beca said, shaking her head. “I still haven’t told him I tried to try out for the Quidditch team. Not that it mattered.”

The Quidditch try-out had been beyond frustrating. She was a good chaser, she knew she was, but captain Marcus Flint took one look at her small, skinny frame and laughed. He wouldn’t even watch her fly. The memory of it still caused a flare of anger to rush through her.

“Are you going to spend your whole time at Hogwarts worrying what your dad will say? Here’s a thought, just don’t tell him,” Stacie said.

“That’s easy for you to say, your parents are actually nice,” Beca said.

“And your dad is an asshole, I know, but still,” Stacie said, “he isn’t here, is he? You are.”

Beca sighed. “I just… I don’t know, Stace.”

“Chloe will be there,” Stacie added, a last ditch attempt to get Beca to agree to come.

Beca flushed red. “Why are you telling me that?”

“Oh, are you trying to tell me you don’t want an excuse to see her? Don’t insult my intelligence,” Stacie said.

Beca didn’t bother to argue. “Fine,” she said. “I’ll come.”

“Hurray!” Stacie said, her arms raised in triumph. “This will be fun.”

Beca shook her head and picked up her book again. “You’re a weirdo.”

When she and Stacie had arrived at the audition that Saturday afternoon, everyone already there fell silent at the sight of them and their green and silver ties. They really were the only two Slytherins there.

Beca was on the verge of walking out, but Chloe leapt to her feet, clearly so happy to see her.

“Beca!” She yelled, pulling a startled Beca into a hug. “You came!”

“Uhh,” Beca said, looking alarmed. “Yeah. You know Stacie, right?”

“Of course!” Chloe said, hugging her too.

Beca glanced around the room and saw a few people she recognised.

There was Chloe’s best friend Aubrey, with the self-named Fat Amy and some other Gryffindors who later introduced themselves as Jesse and Flo.

Emily Junk was there, along with two other Hufflepuffs called Jessica and Ashley, who seemed glued at the hip.

Ravenclaw Benjamin (“Call me Benji,” he had said, introducing himself) was also there. The other two Ravenclaws was a third year girl called Cynthia-Rose, and a slightly terrifying girl named Lily, who, when Stacie asked what year she was in, mumbled something none of them could quite hear, but which sounded like “I’ve been here longer than Dumbledore.”

Auditioning for Flitwick’s choir turned out to be less of an audition, and more of singing the Hogwarts house song so Flitwick knew where to put you.

Beca was put with the altos and they began to sing. By the end of her first rehearsal, Beca wondered why she’d been nervous and reluctant to join. Singing was probably her second favourite thing to do, after flying, and she liked everyone there. They were nerds, sure, but they were kind of awesome nerds.

Also, due to the way Flitwick had arranged them, she had been stood next to Chloe the entire time, which Beca was definitely not complaining about. Being in close proximity to Chloe made her heart speed up and her face feel hot. It was like standing too close to a fire. Beca was afraid she would get burned.

After a few weeks of rehearsing, the group actually started to sound good together.

She especially liked the way hers and Chloe’s voices had blended. As if they were made to harmonise with each other. While they both sounded great on their own, as soon as they came together it was like, well, magic.

Rehearsals were put on hold, however, when a member of their choir was found petrified outside of his common room. It was the slightly dorky but very lovable muggle-born Benji, who had impressed them so often with his muggle magic tricks.

People started to take the heir of Slytherin stuff more seriously. People started travelling in groups, shooting dirty looks at any Slytherin they came across.

After a third student was attacked, a Hufflepuff this time, but no one that Beca knew, the atmosphere in the castle was starting to get tense.

Some Slytherins, the ones Beca always tried to avoid, thought the heir was some hero. Someone trying to “cleanse the school of filth”. It made Beca feel sick. On Christmas evening, Beca heard Draco Malfoy talk loudly to a stupider than usual Crabbe and Goyle, about how he wish he knew who the heir was.

One morning Beca was standing just outside the Great Hall, looking at the hour glasses containing the house points. Slytherin were in the lead again, but that didn’t mean much. They had actually won last year but due to some, as Stacie put it, Dumbledore bullshit, they’d come second to Gryffindor.

To be fair to Harry Potter and his friends, they had stopped Voldemort from getting some important stone. Beca had to admit that they deserved those few hundred points, even though she’d never admit that to her fellow Slytherins.

The thought that he’d been in the school, had actually been in the same room as Beca, still made her feel cold all over.

She was lost in thought, still looking at the constantly changing hour glasses, when she was shoved aside.

“Hey!” Beca said, annoyed as the books she was holding fell out of her arms. One of the Gryffindors who’d pushed her turned around.

“Sorry!” They said, their voice dripping with sarcasm. “Don’t set Slytherin’s monster on me!”

Beca rolled her eyes but didn’t respond. It wasn’t a fun time to be a Slytherin.

When she crouched to pick up her books, her vision was obscured by red hair.

“Ignore them,” Chloe said, helping her pick up her books. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Beca said, taking the books from Chloe. “Thanks.”

“They’re just idiots. I bet they think Harry Potter’s involved too,” Chloe said.

“I mean when is he not involved in something? He literally flew a car to school this year.”

Chloe laughed. “Right?”

“So, uh, I’ll see you round,” Beca said, turning and walking into the Great Hall.

“Wait!” Chloe said, catching up to her. “I wanted to tell you something.”

“What’s up?”

“So I had a detention with Snape last week,” she said.

“You had detention? What for?”

“Oh, you know my thing where I ask too many questions and don’t realise I’m being annoying?”

“Yeah,” Beca said.

“Well Snape didn’t appreciate me asking over and over what Slytherin’s monster could be. I figured of all the teachers he would know, but he didn’t,” Chloe said. “Anyway, while I was doing my detention, I found out that there’s this book that has every single person who ever went to Hogwarts, and what house they were in. It also shows if they’d ever been a prefect, head boy or girl, or a Quidditch captain.”

“So?”

“So you can find out some stuff about your Mom, can’t you?” Chloe asked, grinning broadly.

Beca felt a stomach flip and her face flush. “I, um, I don’t think I’ll be able to find her.”

“Why? Do you not even know her name?” Chloe asked, shocked.

“I know her first name,” Beca said, “but not her surname.” Beca was aware that she could stop right there. She didn’t need to say anymore, but for some reason she didn’t want to hide anything from Chloe. “But even if I did, she wouldn’t be in there.”

Chloe looked at her, tilting her head slightly. “Let’s go take a walk,” she said. “We have a bit of time before class.”

“Sure,” Beca said, wanting to get away from anyone who could overhear.

It was cold outside, and Chloe linked her arm with Beca’s as they walked, huddling close to her.

“Your Mom was a muggle,” Chloe said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah,” Beca replied.

More silence followed.

“Are you ashamed of that?”

“No!” Beca said, pulling away slightly. “Of course not.”

More silence.

“You know who my dad is, right?” Beca asked.

“Of course I do.”

“Well… He thinks if it gets out that he had a kid with a muggle, it’ll be bad for him. For his reputation. I don’t care about his reputation, but I do care about getting through summer break alive,” Beca said, sounding bitter. “He made me swear that if anyone asked about her, I’d say she was some witch that I never met.”

“I’m sorry Beca,” Chloe said. “Did she really die when you were born?”

Beca shrugged. “I think so. That’s what he told me, anyway. I think she lived long enough to tell them my dad’s name. And my dad came to get me from a foster home when I was a baby. I don’t think he actually wanted me, he never loved my Mom or anything, but he said he couldn’t have me being raised as a muggle and then coming to Hogwarts with his name.”

“That's… That’s really sad Beca. I’m sorry,” Chloe said, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. “He doesn’t sound like a good dad.”

“He isn’t,” Beca said. “He’s not a good person.”

“All those rumours about him… Are they true?”

“Yeah,” Beca said. “I hate having his name. I hate the way people look at me when they hear it. I hate that people assume I’m like him.”

“Anyone who gets to know you, knows you aren’t like him,” Chloe said.

“I guess,” Beca said with a sigh. “Come on, we’ll be late for our first class.”

“Thank you for telling me all this.”

“Thank you for listening. But, um, please don’t share it with anyone else? If he found out…”

“I won’t say a word,” Chloe said. “I promise.”


	3. Third Year

**The battle raged on around them. Curses were flying, flashes of red and green lit up the walls, and bodies were dropping.**

**And still neither Beca, nor the Death Eater, acted.**

**The waiting was killing her. She needed the fight to begin, but she couldn’t start it.**

**She wanted to tear her eyes away and focus on Chloe, who was still groaning on the ground at her feet.**

**But then, with a flick of his wand, the fight began.**

* * *

“Ten points to Slytherin!” The voice of Lee Jordan echoed around the Quidditch pitch.

The announcement was met by a cheer from the Slytherins but Beca couldn’t hear it over the stream of boos that came from the rest of the school.

“Chaser Beca Mitchell, who is flying for the first time for Slytherin, is already proving herself as a strong addition to the team,” Jordan continued, and Beca felt a rush of pride.

It had taken Beca a long time to get captain Marcus Flint to let her try out for the team. In the end, she’d taken the Quaffle from them and had flown around the pitch, repeatedly scoring goals while the other members of the team had chased her.

It had taken a well aimed Bludger to get her to drop the Quaffle.

Beca had landed, her arm throbbing with pain, but with a determined look on her face.

“You know I’m good,” she said.

Flint had laughed. “Yeah, I guess you are.” He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder, pointing it at Malfoy. “Can you score us enough goals so that it won’t matter when this dip-shit misses the Snitch?”

“I can try,” Beca said, laughing too.

And so Beca had found herself on the Slytherin Quidditch team.

She couldn’t say she liked the other members of the team, or that they liked her, but at least she got to play.

And now she was killing it on her first match, having just made her third goal in ten minutes.

Ravenclaw’s keeper left a lot to be desired, but she was still pleased with her performance.

She was good at this.

It was the one thing she knew she could do, and damn did she love doing it.

She ducked an oncoming Bludger, and managed to get possession of the Quaffle again, intercepting a pass between two Ravenclaw Chasers.

She heard groans from the crowd as she and the other Slytherin Chasers passed the Quaffle back and forth down the pitch and Beca made her fourth goal.

“Another ten for Slytherin!”

She tried not to let the boos and groans bother her. She knew that only Slytherins would cheer for her team, and she knew the rest of the school would hope she would lose.

That didn’t stop her from hoping that there was at least one Hufflepuff in the crowd routing for her success.

She knew Chloe was out there watching, Chloe had promised her that she would be, and she didn’t want to disappoint her.

And she hated the idea that Chloe might be routing against her.

“Keep it up Mitchell!” Flint yelled as they made their way back down the pitch for the Quaffle. “The Ravenclaw Seeker Cho Chang is good. We need all the points we can get before she gets the Snitch.” He clapped her on the back before swerving off to shout instructions at the Slytherin Beaters. It was the closest they came to camaraderie.

Down in the stands, Chloe was watching with bated breath.

Beca was easy to make out, being the smallest one up there in green robes, and Chloe practically squealed with excitement and nerves anytime she was near the action.

She was so proud of her friend for making it onto the team, but that didn’t stop her from being terrified of her getting hurt.

She remembered when her older brother Justin was at Hogwarts and he was a Beater on the Hufflepuff team. He would always write home with a blow-by-blow account of each match which usually ended with ‘and then I got hit by a Bludger’.

When Slytherin scored another goal, the Hufflepuff’s around her groaned, but Chloe couldn’t help but grin. It wasn’t Beca’s goal this time, but Chloe was still pleased for her.

Back in the air, Beca was in the zone.

She was doing everything right and Slytherin were dominating Ravenclaw. She had managed to tune out the booing from the crowd and focused only on the sounds on the pitch.

When she scored another goal she heard a shout of frustration from the Ravenclaw captain.

“Goddamnit! If you can’t save her goals can you at least stop her from getting the damn Quaffle?!” He yelled at his team. “Cho! Can you find the bloody Snitch already?!”

Beca heard the whistle of the Bludger and quickly dropped in the air. The Bludger went sailing over her head.

She turned to see Cynthia Rose, her friend from choir and the Ravenclaw Beater.

“Almost gotcha Bec!” She yelled with a grin.

Beca grinned back. “You gotta be faster than that!”

“Focus Mitchell!” Flint yelled, racing past her.

Beca raised her eyebrows at Cynthia Rose before shooting off towards the other end of the pitch.

The Slytherin Keeper caught the Quaffle and threw it at Beca. She caught it and then - WHAM!

A Bludger slammed into her, hitting her elbow, causing her arm to break and the Quaffle to fall.

Pain blinded her and for a second Beca thought she was going to fall off her broom. She gripped the broom handle with her knees and her right hand and managed to keep her balance.

“Fuck,” Beca muttered to herself through gritted teeth. Her left arm was now useless to her and pain was radiating through it.

She was almost relieved when she saw Cho Chang dive for the Snitch, Malfoy just behind her but not quick enough.

Cho pulled out of her dive, the Snitch in her hand which was raised high above her head.

There was a moment of confusion before Jordan announced that Slytherin had won by 170 points to 160 points. Then the cheers of the Slytherin’s drowned out everything else.

“Good job,” Flint said as the teams dropped down onto the pitch.

The two teams shook hands once they landed, Cynthia Rose was the only one who looked happy to shake Beca’s hand.

“Arm okay?” She asked.

“Absolutely not,” Beca said with a laugh.

“Bludger to the elbow is nasty,” she said. “Madam Pomfrey will fix it up for you.”

“Yeah,” Beca said. She could feel the cold sweat running down her face and she was quickly getting lightheaded.

“Beca!” Chloe yelled as Beca made her way off the pitch.

“Hey,” Beca said, smiling despite the pain. “I just gotta go shower and stuff.”

“No,” Chloe said. “You need to go to the hospital wing.”

“I’m fine,” Beca said before another wave of dizziness forced her sit down on nearby bench. “I’m not fine. Chloe, I broke my arm.”

“I can see that,” Chloe said, looking worried. “Come on, I’ll help you get to the hospital wing.”

“That’s so far away,” Beca groaned.

“I know,” Chloe said. “But it isn’t getting any closer.” She took Beca’s right arm and helped her stand. “You were awesome by the way.”

“Yeah? You weren’t routing for the other team?” Beca asked, grimacing as they began the walk to the castle.

“Of course not,” Chloe said. “I’m always on your side, Becs. And besides, Ravenclaw already hammered us so I wanted to see them beat,” she added with a laugh.

By the time they got to the hospital wing, Beca was looking paler than usual.

Chloe helped her sit on the edge of one of the beds before going off to get Madam Pomfrey.

“Broken bones is it?” Madam Pomfrey asked with a sniff of disapproval.

“It’s her arm,” Chloe said.

“Yes I can see that,” she said. She held up Beca’s broken arm causing her to hiss in pain. “Well we’ll have this fixed in a heartbeat.”

Madam Pomfrey gave a flick of her wand and Beca felt a hot and then cold sensation run from her shoulder to her wrist.

“Give it a move,” Madam Pomfrey said.

Gingerly Beca stretched out her arm and then flexed it slightly. The pain was mostly gone now and her bones seemed to be healed.

“Thanks,” Beca said. “Can we go?”

“Not yet. Give it about an hour first, you need to rest,” she replied.

“I’m fine,” Beca protested.

“Rest!” Madam Pomfrey instructed her, her voice severe, before she moved off to check on another student.

With a groan Beca lay down on the bed.

“You don’t have to wait with me,” Beca said, when Chloe settled into chair beside her.

“I know,” Chloe replied. “But I want to.”

Beca grinned. “Thanks. And thanks for getting me here.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Chloe said. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Beca replied. “It doesn’t even really hurt anymore.”

“It was pretty scary watching you play,” Chloe said.

“Scary?”

“Yeah. Like, don’t get me wrong it was really cool too, and I’m super proud of you for getting on the team, but I was so scared you were gonna get hurt,” Chloe said, looking a little embarrassed to be revealing this.

“Oh, well… thanks? I don’t think anyone has ever cared if I got hurt or not before,” Beca said, feeling equally embarrassed.

Chloe cocked her head in confusion. “What? Really?”

“Yeah? I mean, you know my dad is an asshole right? He doesn’t care what happens to me as long as I don’t 'disgrace the family name’,” Beca said, rolling her eyes.

And suddenly Chloe remembered Beca’s reaction on the Hogwarts Express when the Dementors had made their way into their compartment.

Chloe, Aubrey, Stacie and the others had felt sick, dizzy and miserable, but Beca had looked on the verge of passing out. She’d had her eyes squeezed shut, her hands clamped over her ears, her elbows digging into her thighs.

Chloe knew Dementors made you relive your worst memories, and she wondered what it was that Beca had seen and heard.

“Well, I care what happens to you,” Chloe said, taking Beca’s hand that was resting on the bed between them.

Beca couldn’t have stopped the grin that spread across her face if she’d tried.

After Madam Pomfrey let Beca leave the hospital wing, the two decided to take a walk around the grounds. They had a couple of hours before curfew, and they wanted to make the most of it.

“Okay,” Chloe said. “Kiss, marry, kill.”

Beca snorted with laughter. “Kiss, marry, kill? You know it’s fu-”

“Gross, we’re 13, I’m not playing fuck, marry, kill,” Chloe said, laughing at the look on Beca’s face.

“Fine,” Beca said, rolling her eyes. “Kiss, marry, kill, it is.”

The two girls played kiss, marry, kill with various famous wizards, laughing the whole time.

“I can’t believe you’d kiss Viktor Krum!” Chloe said, incredulous.

“He’s an internationally famous Quidditch player!” Beca said. “Maybe he’d pass on some of his talent!”

“That’s not how it works,” Chloe said, giggling.

The two stopped walking and sat down on the grass by the lake. It was a little cold to do this, but neither wanted to suggest they return to the castle.

“Okay, let’s mix it up,” Chloe said. She looked suddenly nervous. “Kiss, marry, kill. Gwenog Jones, Rita Skeeter, and Celestina Warbeck.”

Beca hesitated. She glanced across at Chloe who was chewing her bottom lip.

“You don’t have to-” Chloe started to say before being cut off by Beca.

“I guess I’d marry Gwenog Jones. She’s captain of the Holyhead Harpies so not only is she cute and talented but I bet she’s rich. Also, talk about a dream job getting to play for the Harpies, if she was my wife I bet I could convince her to let me play. Um… I guess I’d kiss Celestina? She’s super old though, that would be gross,” Beca said, pulling a face causing Chloe to giggle. “And Rita Skeeter is kind of a scumbag so I’d kill her.”

“Yeah, I’d do the same,” Chloe said, still looking nervous. “Beca, can I tell you something?”

“Sure,” Beca said, not used to Chloe looking so unsure and apprehensive.

“So, the thing is, I kind of… I like girls. I'm… I’m bi. And I wanted to tell you because it’s an important part of me, and I wanted you to know because you’re my friend,” Chloe said, rambling slightly.

“Chlo’, it’s okay,” Beca said.

“You aren’t freaked out or anything?” Chloe asked, looking worried.

“Of course not.” Beca said before she took a deep breath. “The thing is, I am too.”

“You are?”

“Yeah,” Beca said, letting out a slightly shaky laugh. “I’ve never said that out loud before. It feels nice.”

“Well… this was an unexpected turn of events,” Chloe said, laughing.

“Definitely not where I saw today going,” Beca said.

The two stood up and made their way back to the castle for dinner.

“Does anyone else know?” Beca asked.

“My parents, my brother, and Aubrey,” Chloe said.

“That’s really cool,” Beca said, wondering what it would be like to be able to share that kind of thing with your family.

“Are you going to tell anyone?” Chloe asked.

“I could tell Stacie,” Beca said. “But my dad isn't… He isn’t okay with this kind of thing. I just sort of assumed this would be something I kept to myself until I was grown up and had a place of my own.”

“Well, I’m really glad you told me,” Chloe said, grinning.

“Me too,” Beca replied. “You’re pretty awesome so I feel like I can tell you anything.”

“I think you’re pretty awesome too.


	4. Fourth Year

**The fight was furious.**

**He threw curse after curse at her, all without opening his mouth. It was all Beca could do to keep her shield charm up. She was as good at non-verbal spells as anyone, but he wasn’t giving her the chance to attack back. By the time she had deflected one curse, he was already casting another right at her.**

**She was exhausted and wanted it to stop. She wanted to get back to Chloe.**

**But he was relentless. So, with her arm aching, sweat and blood still running down her face, she kept pushing him back. Waiting for the moment his curse would hit her. Waiting for it to be over.**

* * *

“Are you going to ask her?” Stacie asked, as they made their way out of potions and towards the Great Hall for dinner.

“What? Ask who? To what?” Beca asked, shoving her book into her bag.

“Are you going to ask Chloe to go to the Yule Ball with you?” Stacie asked, nudging Beca in the ribs.

Beca looked around quickly, making sure they hadn’t been overheard. “Oh my god, shut up will you?” She hissed.

Stacie rolled her eyes. “Relax, she can’t hear us.”

“It’s not her I’m worried about,” Beca said, still glancing over her shoulder. “Anyone could have heard.”

“You worry too much,” Stacie said. “And you still haven’t answered my question. Are you going to ask her?”

“Of course not,” Beca said. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you so obviously like her!” Stacie said, as they joined the usual throng of students piling into the Great Hall.

“I do not,” Beca said.

But Beca, of course, was lying.

She did like Chloe. She really liked Chloe.

And when Snape had told them, his voice dripping with disdain, about the Yule Ball, she had been unable to stop the image of herself and Chloe dancing with the rest of the school.

Her hands on Chloe’s waist. Chloe’s arms draped over her shoulders…

But that was stupid. Why would Chloe ever want to go with her? She could have her pick of anyone in the school. Plus all these attractive Beauxbaton and Durmstrang students who’d arrived.

And even if Chloe did want to go with her, she couldn’t risk it.

What if her dad found out?

“Can we drop this?” Beca asked once they’d sat down at the Slytherin table and Stacie had started piling stew onto their plates. “Please?”

“Ugh, fine. But we are going to talk about this later. This is the only chance you’ll ever get to ask a cute girl to a school dance, I won’t let you throw it away,” Stacie said.

“Who are you gonna go with then?” Beca asked, stabbing a potato with her fork, scowling.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Stacie said, throwing a flirty smile at one of the Durmstrang boys sitting near them.

In the end, Beca needn’t have worried about asking Chloe to the Yule Ball, because, maybe rather predictably, Chloe asked her before Beca had a chance to.

“Hey!” Chloe had said brightly, appearing out of nowhere as she so often did.

“What’s up?” Beca asked as the crossed the grounds towards Hagrid’s hut for their shared lesson of Care of Magical Creatures.

“So this Yule Ball thing, are you going with anyone yet?”

Beca shook her head.

“Me neither,” Chloe said, before Beca had a chance to ask. “Do you want to come with me?”

“What? Really? Are you sure you want to go with me? You could-”

“It’s a yes or no answer Becs,” Chloe said with a grin.

“Yes,” Beca said, quickly. “I’d like that.”

“Awesome!” Chloe said, her smile growing impossibly bigger. It was infectious, and Beca couldn’t stop herself from smiling back. “It’s a date!” She added, kissing Beca on the cheek just before they reached the rest of the class.

Beca’s face was burning, and Stacie had to ask her what was wrong several times before Beca could pull herself together enough to answer.

“I… I guess I have a date for the ball,” she said.

“You asked her?!”

Beca shook her head. “She asked me.”

Stacie laughed. “Of course she did. That girl doesn’t waste time.”

* * *

Christmas Day had finally arrived and for the majority of the day Beca’s dorm room had been full of Slytherin girls getting ready for the Yule Ball.

The room was heavy with the smell of perfume, hair potions and a weird smell of burning due to one girl accidentally burning her eyebrows off.

This was a side of magic that Beca had no experience with. She’d never grown up with a female witch in her house, and her dad certainly hadn’t offered to help her with this kind of thing. She’d read a few books and bought a potion to help neaten up the natural curls in her hair, but she was still overwhelmed.

Luckily, Stacie was a natural and had immediately taken control of perfecting Beca’s hair and makeup as soon as she asked for help.

“You look amazing, Beca,” Stacie said, admiring her handy work, holding Beca’s chin and tilting her face to the side.

“So do you,” Beca said, swallowing the nerves that kept bubbling up in her stomach.

“I always do,” Stacie said with a wink. “Get your dress on, it’s almost time.”

With shaking hands Beca pulled on a dark navy blue dress and a pair of silver shoes. Her wand was tucked away in a silver bag which had an undetectable extension charm on it. Along with her wand it contained a pair of more comfortable shoes, a zippered hoodie she’d found in a muggle shop in case it got cold, and a packet of mints, just in case…

Beca and Stacie walked down to the Great Hall together, and waited in the entrance for Chloe and the others to turn up.

Stacie’s date was a ridiculously handsome Durmstrang boy who bowed when he reached them.

“You both look stunning,” he said, his Bulgarian accent strong. He handed a flower to Stacie who accepted it with a thanks.

Beca couldn’t focus enough to thank him for his compliment. Her mouth had gone completely dry and her heart was pounding.

She had just spotted Chloe practically gliding towards them. Her red hair beautifully curled and the burnt orange dress she was wearing made her eyes look bluer than ever. She was glowing. She was everything.

“Holy shit,” she whispered when Chloe reached them. “So you’re like part Veela right?”

Chloe giggled and blushed slightly.

“I’m serious,” Beca said, “you look amazing.”

“So do you,” Chloe said, her eyes roaming over Beca’s face, before travelling up and down her dress. “Shall we go in?” She held out her hand.

Beca nodded, her heart beating painfully again. She wiped her hand on her dress because she was sure she must be sweating, and tentatively took Chloe’s hand in hers.

As they entered the Great Hall, Beca’s eyes scanned the room for anyone who might be looking at them. She knew they weren’t the only same-sex couple going, far from it, but that still didn’t stop her from worrying. It would be just her luck for Rita Skeeter to be snooping around somewhere. For her to get a photo of Beca holding hands with a girl. For that photo to make its way into the Daily Prophet… For her dad to see…

“Beca, breathe,” Chloe said quietly, squeezing Beca’s hand. “No one is looking. No one can even see us.”

She was right, of course. They were in the middle of a throng of students making their way to the tables in the Great Hall, and they were both relatively small. Beca let out a shaky breath and gave Chloe an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, I’ll try not to be so tense and weird,” Beca said with a nervous laugh.

“It’s okay,” Chloe said, squeezing her hand again. “For the record, I’m nervous too.”

“You are?” Beca asked as they sat at the same table as Stacie and her date. She didn’t think Chloe ever got nervous. She never seemed anything other than confident and relaxed.

“Of course. I’m terrified I’m gonna act like a dork and screw this up,” Chloe said, and for the first time Beca saw the fear she was feeling reflected back at her.

“Are you serious?” Beca asked in disbelief. “There’s literally no way you can screw this up. I’m the one who should be worried about screwing up. And I am.”

Chloe laughed and slipped her hand into Beca’s again.

“How about we stop worrying about screwing up and focus on actually enjoying ourselves?”

“That sounds like a plan,” Beca said.

They were joined at their table by Aubrey and Jesse, and Emily and Benji, and they spent the majority of their night talking, laughing, and eating the - even more delicious than usual - feast. When The Weird Sisters started playing, Beca watched from the table with a smile as her friends danced, not caring how ridiculous they looked. She felt a pang in her stomach; she had never felt that at ease with herself enough to do that, but she was still happy to sit and watch.

Towards the end of the night The Weird Sisters started playing a selection of slower songs, and the atmosphere on the dance floor changed. It suddenly became apparent that people should be dancing in couples, and the area was soon full of awkward teenagers holding each other at arm’s length and stepping from side to side. McGonagall’s dance lessons had clearly been forgotten.

“Hey,” Chloe said, dropping beside her at the table. “Come dance with me.”

Beca swallowed and her eyes darted about again. More people were sitting down rather than dancing now, and Beca knew they’d be seen.

“Becs, it’s okay,” Chloe said. “No one will care, I promise.”

“It’s not that,” Beca said, biting her bottom lip. “I want to dance with you it’s just…” She let out a huff of frustration. “It’s my dad.”

“Shit, of course,” Chloe said.

“I’m sorry,” Beca said.

“You don’t need to be sorry, it isn’t your fault,” Chloe said.

Beca shook her head and looked down at her hands. “You should be up there dancing with someone. These things happen like once in a hundred years or something. You should be dancing instead of being stuck with someone too scared to.”

“Hey,” Chloe said, “look at me.” Beca looked up. “I don’t want to be dancing with anyone else. I want to dance with you. I want to spend my time with you Becs. That’s why I asked you.”

Chloe glanced around the room and noticed some side doors were open, leading to the grounds which had been gently lit with fairy lights. Some people were milling around outside cooling off, but it was too dark to really make anyone out.

“Come with me,” Chloe said, holding out her hand. Beca took it, and Chloe lead them out of these doors.

She found a quiet spot where they could still hear the music and she turned to face her.

“Have you ever done this before?” Chloe asked, placing a hand on Beca’s hip.

Beca swallowed hard. “Done what?”

“Slow danced,” Chloe said with a laugh.

“Oh,” Beca said, laughing too. “Right. No, I haven’t.”

“Me neither,” Chloe said. She took Beca’s hand, her other one still resting on her hip, and Beca tentatively did the same.

And they started dancing. Slowly. Awkwardly. Both giggling as they occasionally stepped on each other’s feet.

“I feel like we’re nailing this,” Beca said, her face closer to Chloe’s than it had been all night.

“Right?” Chloe said with a giggle.

The music stopped, but they didn’t let each other go.

“I really like you, Beca,” Chloe said.

“I really like you too,” Beca replied.

They heard the sound of approaching footsteps and they stepped further into the shadows, which meant they had to stand even closer together. They knew Snape was patrolling the grounds to stop students from fooling around, so Beca was very keen not to get caught.

When the footsteps died away, Beca finally looked up at Chloe again.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hi,” Chloe replied.

Chloe’s hands came up to cup Beca’s face, her thumbs brushing across her cheeks.

“Is this okay?” Chloe asked.

Beca nodded because she didn’t trust her voice. “I… I don’t know… How to do this,” she whispered.

“Me neither,” Chloe said, with a laugh. “I figured we could work it out together.”

“That… That’s a smart plan,” Beca laughed.

And then they kissed.

And it was as awkward and clumsy as you’d expect from a pair of 14 year olds.

But Beca wouldn’t change it for anything. It was magic.


	5. Fifth Year

**It went on and on.**

**His attacks getting more and more furious, her countering becoming clumsy and tired.**

**She wondered if she should just give up. If she’d known what he was casting, she might have done. It was the not knowing that kept her on her feet and throwing back defensive spells. Not knowing what his spells would do to her.**

**“You’re on the wrong side, Beca,” he yelled, speaking to her finally.**

**Beca just shook her head, too exhausted to speak.**

**“You can’t win. The Potter boy will die. All of you will die.” The curses kept flying. “Stop now and he’ll let you live.”**

**Beca took the opportunity to send a stunning spell at him but he deflected it with ease.**

**He shook his head, disappointed.**

**“You’re on the wrong side,” he said, raising his arm to attack again.**

* * *

Beca toyed with the bacon on her plate one Friday morning, staring down at it without much desire to eat.

Hogwarts had gotten significantly less fun this year, and that wasn’t just because it was their fifth year so they had to study for their O.W.L.s.

The mood around the castle had changed. There had never been such a divide amongst the students and even some professors as there was now. There were the people who believed Harry Potter. Who believed Voldemort was back. Believed he was the one who’d killed Cedric, and had tried to kill Harry too.

There were those who believed the Daily Prophet. Who believed Harry was an attention seeking liar.

Then there were those like Malfoy who knew He was back because of who their parents were, but were happy to support the rumours spread by the Daily Prophet.

And then there were those like Beca. Beca knew for a fact He was back, but she didn’t take any joy in it like Malfoy or his other friends did. She knew because she’d seen the Dark Mark on her dad’s arm, standing out sharply against his pale skin. She’d seen Death Eaters coming and going all summer. She’d seen them greeting her dad like an old friend. He’d asked her to keep out of his way for most of the summer, and she’d been only too happy to oblige.

Beca was snapped out of her thoughts by the impatient looking owl standing before her, nipping her hand with its beak.

“Ow,” she said, snatching her hand back. The owl hooted and held out its leg. “Sorry.”

She took the paper and unfolded it as the owl took flight.

‘Same time, same place?’

She recognised Chloe’s handwriting immediately, and she smiled. She looked across the Great Hall to the Hufflepuff table where Chloe was sitting. As if she’d been waiting for her, Chloe looked up. Beca nodded, and Chloe smiled before looking back down at the newspaper in her hand.

There was one good thing so far about fifth year.

Beca and Chloe had started dating. Secretly.

After their kiss at the Yule Ball, they had met up a few more times, just the two of them. But with their classes, homework, and the excitement of the Triwizard Tournament, they hadn’t really had much of a chance to spend time together.

They’d written to each other constantly over the summer, both frustrated that they had to wait days to get a response, but with each letter they grew closer together.

So, upon their return to Hogwarts, Beca and Chloe decided to date in secret. Beca was too afraid of her dad finding out for them to be open about it, so they would sneak around whenever and wherever they could.

For the past few weeks they’d been meeting in the grounds just outside the castle. It was the same place they’d shared their first kiss, and they found they could use a secret passageway which lead them outside to get to it. The hard part was getting from their dormitories to the passageway itself, but once they were through and outside it was harder for them to get caught. Teachers didn’t patrol the grounds as often as they did the inside of the castle, and they’d managed to find themselves a bit of a blind spot.

Beca had to admit that all their sneaking around and walking the castle and grounds at night made her feel sick and anxious, and Chloe would have agreed if they’d discussed it, but they didn’t see another way. Beca didn’t want to think what would happen when they were eventually caught, but the alternative meant not seeing Chloe at all.

The Hufflepuffs and Slytherins only had Care of Magical Creatures together, and Flitwick had been made to disband the choir after Umbridge refused to give them permission to reform. They weren’t able to visit each other’s house common room, or even see each other between classes due to heightened security.

They tried on one occasion to sit together in the library and talk quietly, but every time they opened their mouths they were loudly shushed by Madam Pince, so the whole thing was pointless.

So they snuck around after hours, and prayed they wouldn’t get caught.

That night, Beca sat in the gloomy green light of the common room, watching the time tick by on her watch.

“You’re going to get caught one of these days you know?” Stacie said, not looking up from her book. They were the only two left in the common room, which wasn’t unusual at this time, but Beca was still thankful for it. It was much easier sneaking out without a room of prying eyes.

“Yeah, I know,” Beca said rubbing her eyes. She was tired. It was the third time this week they were doing this, and Beca hadn’t been sleeping well. “We just don’t know what else to do.”

“You could try not being randy teenagers?” Stacie said.

“It isn’t like that,” Beca said, blushing furiously. “We just talk most nights. She just… She gets me, you know? She’s like… She feels like home.”

Stacie softened. “I’m not trying to ruin these late night dates. I actually think they’re super cute. I just don’t want you to get caught. Especially with Umbridge doing these crazy detentions.”

“I know,” Beca said. “This whole situation is far from ideal.” She looked at her watch. “I gotta go.”

“Be careful,” Stacie said, looking up as Beca left the common room.

It was a quick journey to the entrance of the passageway, and Beca made it without running into anyone. She slipped behind a tapestry, tapped a loose stone three times with her wand, and crawled on her hands and knees down the short passageway which was revealed when the stones parted. She tapped the stone wall at the other end three times and again, the stones parted to let her out before sealing shut behind her. Sometimes it felt like the castle really was encouraging them to break rules.

When the cold air hit her face she felt calmer. She kept to the shadows and made her way to the place where Chloe was meeting her.

She was the first to arrive and she sat on the grass with her back pressed into the wall, and she waited.

Soon she heard the slight grinding noise of the wall opening, and she braced herself. Either Chloe or a professor would be turning the corner at any moment, and she wouldn’t know which one until it was too late.

A shadowy figure emerged and got closer and closer, and then they were right in front of her. Beca saw the red hair and blue eyes which were just visible in the moonlight and she felt herself relax. Chloe sat down beside Beca and they hugged without saying a word.

Their tight embrace quickly lead to a kiss. Beca’s hands were in Chloe’s hair, holding her close as if afraid she might be snatched away at any moment. When they stopped kissing they rested their foreheads together, eyes closed but smiling. Both breathing heavily.

“Hi,” Beca whispered.

“Hi,” was Chloe’s whispered reply.

And they leaned in to kiss again.

“What on Earth do you think you’re doing?!” A shrill voice demanded, the light from their wand falling over them.

Beca’s stomach sank like a stone.

Professor McGonagall was standing in front of them, her mouth open in shock, her wand held above her, showering them in light.

There was nothing they could do, or say.

“Come with me, both of you!” She snapped, and all they could do was follow.

Chloe had started sniffing on the way to McGonagall’s office, and Beca reached out to take her hand. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Chloe took it, and used her other hand to wipe her eyes. “Me too,” she whispered back.

“In here!” McGonagall said. She saw the two girls holding hands and seemed to soften ever so slightly. “Sit down.”

They did.

Professor McGonagall sat behind her desk and folded her arms. “Well?”

Beca glanced over at Chloe who seemed incapable of forming words. So, her eyes fixed on her knees, Beca started talking.

“I know we shouldn’t have professor,” Beca said once she’d finished her explanation. “We just… We didn’t know what to do.”

“Is all of this true Miss Beale?” McGonagall asked.

Chloe nodded and sniffed again, wiping her eyes.

“Anything to add?”

“Just that we’re sorry, professor,” Chloe said.

McGonagall sighed. “I’m disappointed in you ladies. I had thought that you were both smart enough to know that sneaking around the school and into the grounds after hours is an incredibly foolish thing to do. Especially in these times where we have dangerous wizards and witches out there, and… and even in this castle.”

They both looked up.

“If you had been caught by a… a different teacher then this could have been much more serious. Not that it’s not serious now, because it is. Very serious. That being said,” she cleared her throat slightly. Beca and Chloe desperately wanted to glance at each other, to confirm what they were both thinking, that the professor was acting… weird. But they didn’t dare look away from her, and McGonagall carried on talking. “That being said,” she repeated, “I cannot pretend that I don’t understand why you did it. I was once in a similar position myself… And, well, those were different times, it wasn’t even legal then, but what I’m trying to say is I understand. And I am sorry that you have not felt comfortable or safe enough to be yourselves at this school.”

“It’s not the school’s fault professor,” Beca said, finally glancing at Chloe, “it’s my dad. If he found out about me and Chloe he…” Her voice cracked and Chloe reached across and took her hand. “He can’t find out professor. Please.”

“And he won’t. Not from me, not because of this,” McGonagall said, gently.

“Thank you,” Beca said, sinking into her chair with relief.

“In terms of your punishment,” McGonagall said, trying to regain some of her stern composure, “I will be taking 50 points from both Slytherin and Hufflepuff, and you will each receive a week’s detention.”

“Yes professor,” Beca said, thinking they’d gotten off lightly.

“Thank you professor,” Chloe said, thinking the same thing.

“Before you return to your dormitories I must press upon you the importance of not doing this again. We are living in dark and troubling times and it is not safe to do what you’re doing,” McGonagall said.

“We won’t do it again,” Chloe said.

“We promise,” Beca added.

And McGonagall surprised them both by smiling, just slightly. “Miss Beale, if I could offer some advice, you may wish to speak to your head of house professor Sprout. If I’m not mistaken she has been happily married to her wife Rosalyn for 20 years. I believe she may be able to offer you some wise counsel. I am afraid I cannot say the same for you Miss Mitchell, however my door is always open should you wish to talk.”

“Thank you,” Beca said again. “I mean it, thank you professor. I’m sorry we let you down.”

“Very well. I shall send you the dates and times of your detentions on Monday. Now, off to bed please, both of you. Separate beds if you would be so kind,” McGonagall said.

“Ahem, ahem,” a voice said from the doorway, making them all jump.

They turned to see Professor Umbridge standing there, smiling sweetly, her hair up in pink rollers.

“Can I help you Dolores?” McGonagall asked. Her voice lost all the warmth it had moments ago.

“I was just checking that these two are receiving the appropriate punishment for sneaking around school after hours,” she said. Her voice was light and airy but it filled Beca full of dread.

“There punishment has been decided thank you very much,” McGonagall said. “Girls, off to bed please.”

“Just one moment,” Umbridge said, her voice rising slightly higher. “I don’t believe a week’s worth of detention is suitable punishment, do you? After all, this isn’t the first offence, is it? According to young Draco Malfoy, and some of the other Slytherins, you’ve been out and about quite a bit, haven’t you Miss Mitchell?”

Beca glanced up at Professor McGonagall, but she wasn’t looking at her. She was staring at Umbridge with such undisguised fury and hatred Beca was amazed Umbridge could carry on smiling.

“Yes, professor,” Beca said.

“And did you join her on these occasions Miss Beale?”

“No,” Beca said, quickly. “No, tonight was the first time. I was on my own before. Just looking for places to meet.”

“Well, in that case Miss Beale you may keep your current punishment of a week’s detention with Professor McGonagall, as this was your first offence,” Umbridge said, before turning to face Beca. “Now you, Miss Mitchell, will need something more severe. I think two weeks of detention with me for a start. And perhaps an Owl home to your father? I know him quite well, and I know he’d appreciate this kind of information.”

“No,” Professor McGonagall said, sharply. “You are not her head of house, and you were not involved in catching her breaking any rules. If Professor Snape is unhappy with the punishment I’ve decided on then he may discuss it with me. This has nothing to do with you, Dolores.”

“Oh but I think you’ll find it has, Minerva. There’s been a new educational decree, you see. And I am now Hogwarts High Inquisitor, which gives me more powers than a simple teacher or head of house would have,” Umbridge said, her voice as sickly sweet as it was possible to be.

“Professor,” Beca said, looking up at McGonagall, tears filling her eyes now, “please don’t let her do this.”

“Professor McGonagall has no power here, Miss Mitchell,” Umbridge said, her voice suddenly sharp. “Let’s make it three weeks of detention, shall we?”

Beca swallowed hard. Chloe opened her mouth to argue but Beca shook her head.

“Very well,” McGonagall said. “You’ve made your point. May I escort these two back to their dormitories?”

Umbridge smiled. “Very good, Professor.”

“Come with me, you two,” McGonagall said, her voice shaking with suppressed anger.

They didn’t speak again as they walked the silent corridors and of the deserted school. They stopped off at the Hufflepuff common room first, and McGonagall allowed them to say a quick goodnight.

“Thank you for lying to her like that,” Chloe said softly, squeezing Beca into a tight hug. “It’s going to be okay, you know? We’ll think of something.”

Beca nodded and tried to smile. “Night Chloe.”

“Goodnight.”

McGonagall then walked Beca down towards the Slytherin dungeons.

“I’m going to do all I can, Miss Mitchell,” she said. “I promise you that.”

“It’s okay, professor. I imagine she’ll have sent the Owl before she even spoke to us. Whatever happens I’ll just have to handle it,” Beca said, feeling tired and emotionally drained.

“If I have to go to the headmaster about this, I will,” McGonagall said as they reached the entrance to the common room.

Beca smiled and shook her head. “I think he has enough to be dealing with professor. Voldemort is back, you know? There’s a war coming. I’m sorry we dragged you into this. Thank you for your help,” Beca said. “Goodnight.”

McGonagall’s hand touched Beca’s arm lightly. “I will help you in anyway I can,” she said softly. “I promise you that.”

And then she turned and left.

* * *

Beca spent the next few days on edge, waiting for a response from her father. It was the not knowing that was killing her. Not knowing if he knew, not knowing how or when he would respond. It was tying her stomach in knots. Her heart beat painfully fast every time the post arrived. She felt the rush of relief when nothing was delivered to her, which was quickly followed by the punch in the stomach of knowing it had to come soon.

Detention with Umbridge was almost a welcome distraction.

And it wasn’t that she particularly enjoyed carving 'I must obey school rules’ over and over again into the back of her hand, but the pain at least gave her something to focus on.

Chloe had been beside herself the first time she’d seen the scars on Beca’s hand.

“Is that what she’s making you do?! Write lines with your own blood?! She’s sick! There’s something wrong with her, tell-”

“Hey,” Beca had said softly, “it’s okay. Professor Snape has given me something to stop the pain, I just need to soak it in Murtlap essence.” Chloe opened her mouth to argue, but Beca cut her off. “I know it’s really fucked up. But I can deal with this, okay?”

“Okay,” Chloe said with a sigh. “But I really don’t like this. She shouldn’t be able to get away with it.”

“I know,” Beca said. “But this is just how it is for now. She won’t be here forever, the other teachers will see to that if Fred and George don’t do it first.”

But as calm and composed as Beca was trying to seem in front of Chloe, inside she was falling apart.

The pain in her hand was horrendous, but it was nothing compared to the constant anxiety of not knowing when the reaction from her dad would come.

After two weeks of detention, with the letters on the back of her hand now refusing to heal, a howler arrived for Beca.

“Just get it over with,” Stacie said as the smoking red envelope quivered in front of her.

With a trembling hand Beca opened the envelope and soon the screaming voice of her father echoed around the Great Hall.

He told her that she was a disgrace, that she was disgusting, that she was better off dead like her mother.

Some Slytherins around her began laughing, but most of the Great Hall was silent. If she’d looked at the head table she would have seen Umbridge smiling serenely, and McGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout staring at Umbridge with cold fury. Through the tears in her eyes Beca saw Chloe get up off her seat and make her way over. Stacie had taken her un-cut hand and was squeezing it tightly, as the howler went on and on and -

“Reducto!”

It was gone. Turned into smoke and ash.

Professor McGonagall was standing close to where the howler had been, her wand raised. “That’s quite enough of that nonsense,” she said. She turned to Chloe who had just arrived at the Slytherin table. “Miss Beale, perhaps you would like to take Miss Mitchell outside for some fresh air on this lovely Saturday morning?”

“Yes professor,” Chloe said. She gently took Beca’s hand. “Come on,” she said softly.

Beca stood and allowed Chloe to lead her out of the Great Hall. She could feel the hundreds of pairs of eyes burning into her back, but she didn’t care anymore. She just wanted it to stop. She wanted everything to stop.

“It’s okay,” Chloe said, her voice still calm and soft. They walked towards the lake and soon they were sat on the grass, Beca wrapped protectively in Chloe’s arms. “It’s okay, we’ll think of something. I won’t let him hurt you, I promise.”

And Beca was too tired to argue. Too tired to point out that her dad was a powerful dark wizard. Too tired to remind her that he was stronger than any of them. That he could do what he wanted. She was too tired.

So just closed her eyes, and let Chloe hold her. She focused on Chloe’s calming words and tried not to think about what would happen when summer arrived, and she would have to go home.


	6. Sixth Year

**His patience was wearing thin now, each attack getting more and more furious.**

**Beca felt like each curse was forcing her backwards, and she could barely get her wand up in time to throw out her counter curses.**

**He let out a shout of frustration.**

**“Enough!” He yelled. “Stupefy!”**

**The jet of red light shot out of the end of his wand and this time Beca didn’t deflect it.**

**She was exhausted, and it was almost a relief when the red light hit her squarely in the chest.**

**She felt herself get lifted of her feet and she knew a split second of relief before darkness spread through her and she was slammed into the wall behind her.**

* * *

When Beca thinks back on her sixth year of Hogwarts, instead of dwelling on the death of Albus Dumbledore or all the other dark things that happened at school, she always thinks about the summer before sixth year had even started.

It had gone from the worst to the best summer of her life in the matter of a few days.

She had spent the summer with Chloe and her family, and it was perfect. They had spent the days hanging out in the fields and trees around her home. Beca had tried to teach Chloe how to fly, and Chloe had tried to Beca how to bake.

They had read together, both lounged on Chloe’s sofa. They had sang together, lying in the grass in Chloe’s back garden. They had wandered around Chloe’s town, and made the trip to Diagon Alley to get their school supplies. And Beca was genuinely happy.

When she thinks back, that first night at Chloe’s house was the moment that stuck in her head. That was when Chloe had shown her what love felt like.

It had been tense in Beca’s home when she’d returned after her fifth year of Hogwarts. Her dad had been more full of hatred and disgust towards her than he ever had before.

Beca’s usual method of surviving the summer at home was to stay in her room out of her dad’s way, but this year he didn’t seem satisfied by that.

He had been having his Death Eater friends over a lot, and he would make Beca serve them drinks.

Beca wasn’t sure why. He was usually embarrassed by her presence and wouldn’t acknowledge her as his daughter unless he had to. But now he seemed to make a point of introducing her to the numerous dark witches and wizards who frequented their home.

She wondered if it was to intimidate her. Maybe he thought that by reminding her that he was friends with dark and powerful witches and wizards she would be too afraid to act out and defy him.

It didn’t work.

One afternoon she was re-filling her dad’s and his friends’ glasses when she made the mistake of rolling her eyes at something one of them said.

“What was that, girl?” A man asked.

“Nothing,” Beca said, quickly.

“I’ve heard all about you,” he said. “Not a fan of the Dark Arts I’ve heard.”

“That’s right,” Beca said, sounding braver than she felt. She was tired of this. Tired of having to wait on these animals that her dad called friends. Maybe if she embarrassed him, she’d be allowed to keep out of the way when they came over.

“What a disgrace,” a woman said.

“You’re a pure-blood Slytherin and you don’t like the Dark Arts?!” Another man asked, incredulous. “I bet you love Albus Dumbledore and that you believe mudbloods deserve the same rights as us pure-bloods.”

“Something like that,” Beca said. Her eyes met her dad’s who stared at her with contempt. “I’m not a pure-blood though, am I dad?”

“Enough,” her dad said, his voice hard and cold.

“Why? Haven’t you told all your friends that my mom was a muggle?”

“You need to show your father some respect!” The woman said. “Spouting filthy lies like that!”

“I can teach her some respect if you’d like John,” the first man said, toying with his wand.

“Why did you lie, Dad? Afraid your precious Dark Lord wouldn’t like it if he found out you’d had sex with a mug-”

“Crucio!” The first man shouted, his wand pointed at Beca.

Pain like Beca had never felt before exploded inside her. She didn’t remember falling to the floor, her head smacking off a table on the way down, and she didn’t remember when she started screaming. All she knew was that this was the worst pain she’d ever experienced and she wanted it to stop.

She needed it to stop. She wanted to die. This pain had gone on for too long, how could she still be alive? It had to kill her soon. It had to.

And suddenly it was over.

She lay on the ground, shaking and breathing heavily, her head bleeding from where it had hit the table. The pain was slowly receding but Beca didn’t stand up.

“That’ll teach her some manners,” the man who had cursed her said, sounding pleased with himself.

She waited for her dad to say something, anything, but he didn’t. She struggled to her feet and turned to see him still sitting in his chair, his expression unchanged.

She wanted to run to her room but she was scared to turn her back.

“May I be excused?” She asked, her voice shaking.

With a smirk of satisfaction, her dad nodded his head. Beca turned and left, running up the stairs as soon as she was out of their sight.

Her hands were shaking as she pulled a sheet of parchment, her quill, and a well of ink out of her desk drawer.

‘Chloe,

I need help.

Can I come and stay with you please?

I can explain more if/when I see you.

Beca.’

She went to the cage in the corner of her room where her Tawny Owl Newt was sleeping, his head tucked beneath his wing. She had bought Newt the previous year when she had started writing to Chloe more frequently.

“Hey bud,” she said softly, stroking his feathers.

He let out an annoyed hoot at being woken up.

“I know, I’m the worst,” she said. “I need some help, Newt. I need you to get this to Chloe as fast as you can. Can you do that for me?”

He nipped her fingers with his beak affectionately, and held out his leg so she could attach the letter to it.

“Thank you,” she said, opening her bedroom window so he could fly out.

She quickly and quietly packed her clothes, books and the school supplies that she had taken out of her trunk over the last few weeks. She wanted to be ready to go quickly. She didn’t know what Chloe’s response would be, but she didn’t want to be in this place any longer than she had toq.

Now the adrenaline was starting to fade away, she was left feeling aching, tired and shaken.

She dropped onto her bed and hoped Chloe would get back to her soon.

She must have fallen asleep because it felt like minutes later when Newt was hooting beside her, nipping her with his beak.

“Ow,” Beca muttered, disoriented. It was starting to get dark and she reached out to switch on a light.

Newt hooted again and Beca took the letter from him.

'Beca,

Of course you can come and stay.

My parents and I are coming to get you tonight. If you can be on the corner of your street, where the street sign is, by 7pm we will leave then. If he won’t let you out, or for whatever reason you aren’t here by 7:30pm, we’re coming to the house to get you.

Stay safe.

Chloe.’

Beca checked her watch and saw that it was 6:30pm.

She coaxed Newt back into his cage and picked up her trunk with her other hand.

She crept downstairs and almost made it to the front door when she heard her dad speak.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“Why do you care?” Beca replied, her voice shaking. “You don’t want me here and I don’t want to be here. This is for the best.”

He didn’t speak for a few minutes. “You’re right,” he said. “I don’t want you to come back here, Rebeca. Ever.”

“Good,” Beca said.

And she left the house without another word.

She went to the corner of her street and sat on the wall and waited. She was shivering from a mixture of cold and fear. She was terrified that her dad would change his mind and come back for her. She was scared that Chloe wouldn’t show up, or that she’d go to a different location. Chloe hadn’t ever visited her house before, but she knew that her parents were familiar with the area.

Beca looked at her watch and saw that it was 6:50pm. A second later she heard a crack that made her leap off the wall and hold her wand out in front of her.

“Beca,” Chloe said, rushing over to her from where she’d apparated to. Beca sighed with relief and let her wand drop.

“Hi,” Beca said, softly, hugging Chloe tightly.

“What happened?” Chloe asked.

“I’ll tell you later,” Beca said, looking around. “Please can we go?”

“Of course,” Chloe said. “Mom, are we ready?”

“Yes,” Mrs Beale said. Beca met both of Chloe’s parents briefly at the train station at the end of her first year at Hogwarts, and she’d had small conversations with them every year since, but she didn’t know them very well.

“Beca, honey, if you take my hand you can do side-along apparition with me. Chloe will go with her dad and he’ll take your luggage too. Let your owl fly to our place though, he won’t like apparition.

"Sure,” Beca said. “Newt, buddy, can you go to Chloe’s house? We’ll meet you there.” She opened the cage and he hooted before taking off into the sky once more. “Thank you so much for this,” Beca said as she took Chloe’s mom’s hand.

“That’s okay,” she said. “We can talk about it soon. Ready?”

“Ready.”

Mrs Beale turned on the spot and Beca suddenly felt herself get squeezed from every possible angle. Her chest felt tight and she couldn’t draw a breath. She wanted to cry out as she was getting crushed, but couldn’t make a sound.

And then it was over, and she was standing outside a two story house. The house was small but it was surrounded by grassy fields and trees. She knew from listening to Chloe talk that the her family owned most of the grounds surrounding their home.

“Let’s go inside,” Chloe said, taking Beca’s hand. Beca looked away from the house to see Chloe staring at her, her eyes full of concern. “Have a seat,” Chloe said when they got into the kitchen.

Beca sat down at the kitchen table. She felt drained and sick but so relieved to be here.

“Chloe I’m gonna make some food, can you take care of Beca?” Mrs Beale said.

“Yeah,” Chloe said.

“Thank you for coming to get me,” Beca said. She heard Chloe rummaging around in a cupboard before she came to sit at the table beside her. She had a small bottle labeled 'Essence of Dittany’ and a cloth in her hand.

“You don’t need to keep thanking us,” Chloe said. She opened the bottle and poured some onto the cloth. “This might sting a bit.”

“I do need to thank you,” Beca said, as Chloe dabbed the cloth onto the cut on her forehead.

“What did he do to you?” Chloe asked.

“It wasn’t him. Or, not directly him. He had some of his Death Eater buddies over and I should have kept my mouth shut and I didn’t. One of them used the Cruciatus curse on me, and I hit my head on the table,” Beca said, her voice devoid of emotion.

She heard a gasp behind her.

“He did what?” Mrs Beale asked. “That’s illegal, he’ll go to Azkaban for that.”

Beca shrugged. “He won’t though. I don’t think the Ministry cares about this kind of thing right now.”

“So this guy used the Cruciatus curse on you… He used an unforgivable curse on you, and your dad just sat there?”

“Pretty much,” Beca said.

“He didn’t stop them? He didn’t say anything?” Chloe asked, appalled.

“Nope,” Beca said. “Are you surprised? You know who this guy is, right? You know what he’s done?”

“Yeah, but you’re his kid,” Chloe said.

Beca laughed. “Chloe, he hates me.”

“I’m so sorry, Beca,” Chloe said, pulling her into a hug. “You’re safe now.”

Beca hugged her back, closing her eyes. “Thank you.”

“I have a bed set up for you in Chloe’s room,” Mrs Beale said, once hers and Chloe’s hug had ended. “Once you’ve eaten you can go and make yourself comfortable. You look exhausted so I’m guessing you’re gonna want to turn in early, but you don’t have to.”

“Thank you Mrs Beale,” Beca said. “I mean it, I really can’t thank you all enough.”

“You don’t need to thank us anymore, honey. I’m glad we got you out of there,” Mrs Beale said.

She put a bowl of thick vegetable soup in front of Beca along with a couple of rolls of warm bread.

“My Mom’s a feeder,” Chloe said, helping herself to one of Beca’s rolls. “Don’t feel like you have to eat it all.”

Beca didn’t answer, but shovelled the soup down as if she hadn’t eaten properly in weeks. “It’s really good,” she said between mouthfuls.

Chloe’s mom rested a hand lightly on Beca’s back. “Thank you. There’ll always be food for you here. And safety.”

Once Beca had finished eating, Chloe showed Beca up to her room.

Beca couldn’t help but laugh at the sight.

“So did Helga Hufflepuff throw up in here?” Beca asked, laughing.

“What? I have a little house pride!” Chloe said, glad to see Beca laugh.

Chloe’s room was covered in Hufflepuff flags and pennants. She also had a poster of the Holyhead Harpies, a Weird Sisters poster, a lot of photographs of her and her friends and family, and a large double bed full of cushions and blankets.

There was a camp bed set up on the floor, and Beca saw that Chloe’s dad had brought up her trunk.

“I’m super tired,” Beca said, pulling some pyjamas out of her trunk. “Is it okay if I turn in?”

“Of course it is,” Chloe said. “Listen, I know my Mom has set up the camp bed, but it isn’t very comfy. If you’re okay with it, you can share my bed if you want?”

Beca swallowed. “Would your Mom be okay with that?”

“Yeah, she told me I could ask you. As long as there wasn’t any funny business,” Chloe said, and Beca laughed.

“Are you okay with it?”

“I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t Bec,” Chloe said. “If it makes you uncomfortable or anything you don’t have to. You can even take the bed and I’ll take the camp bed.”

“No,” Beca said. “I'd… I’d like to share with you. It’s been a really rough day and… And I could use a bit of… good human contact. Does that make sense?”

“If you wanna be the little spoon you just have to ask,” Chloe teased.

“Shut up,” Beca said, laughing. “I’m gonna go change.”

Beca went into the bathroom and changed into some pyjamas and brushed her teeth. When she got back to the bedroom Chloe was already changed.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Chloe said, kissing Beca on the cheek, before leaving to brush her own teeth.

Beca hovered beside the bed, not sure what to do. She felt weird getting into the bed before Chloe did, so she waited.

“That’s a weird way to get comfy,” Chloe said when she got back to the room, closing the door behind her.

“Sorry,” Beca said with a nervous laugh. “I didn’t want to just make myself at home.”

Chloe climbed into the bed before patting the empty space beside her.

“Come here,” she said softly.

Beca got into the bed, and Chloe flicked off the lamp. She then wrapped her arms around Beca’s waist and pulled her close.

“Is this okay?” She asked. Her breath tickled the back of Beca’s neck.

“Yeah,” Beca said, letting out a shaky breath. “This is exactly what I needed. I… I needed someone to touch me without… without hurting me.”

Chloe’s grip tightened. “I’ll never hurt you, Becs.”

“I know,” Beca said, smiling.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Chloe said.

“Me too,” Beca replied.


	7. Seventh Year

They all knew it was going to come down to this. Ever since Voldemort had returned. Ever since the Death Eaters had taken over Hogwarts. They knew there had to be one final battle. They knew it had to be here.

Voldemort had told them they would be left unharmed if they simply handed over Harry Potter, who had reappeared after being absent the whole year. Voldemort’s voice in her head had filled Beca with a fear she’d never felt before.

McGonagall stood in the Great Hall, and told them that anyone over the age of 17 who wished to stay and fight could, and all the other students would be evacuated. And Beca felt Chloe slip her hand into hers and squeeze tightly. There was no question. They would stay and fight.

Beca was one of few Slytherins that did. Stacie remained too, along with some others from their year, but once the students to be evacuated had left she saw the room was filled with mostly Gryffindors. As Beca looked around the room to see who had stayed and who had left, she felt Chloe tugging at her tie.

“What are you doing?” Beca asked, confused.

“Just…” She succeeded in untying it. “I just don’t want to risk anything. I don’t want anyone to see the green and think you’re on the other side.”

“I don’t think other students would attack me just because I’m a Slytherin,” Beca said. But she pulled off her robe too so the Slytherin house crest was no longer on her.

“I know,” Chloe said. “I just don’t want to risk it. People are scared, they might jinx first and ask questions later.”

Chloe waved Stacie over and she also pulled off anything identifying her as a Slytherin.

“Now what?” Stacie asked, looking around the room. “Do we just run out there and join the fight?”

“I don’t know,” Chloe replied, biting her lip. They could hear sounds of the battle already raging in the grounds and outside the doors.

Aubrey and Jesse soon joined their group. “Are you guys coming?” Aubrey asked, her wand already drawn.

Groups of students were beginning to make their way out of the Great Hall now, wands raised as they prepared to fight.

Beca looked at Chloe who nodded.

“Yeah,” Beca said. “What’s our plan?”

“Look for people who need help,” Jessie said, already moving towards the door. “Look for Death Eaters who need cursing.”

They left the Great Hall.

Beca expected to run into hordes of Death Eaters and Snatchers and every other kind of enemy immediately. She was waiting for Dementors to sweep in. For giants and trolls to pull down walls on top of them.

But they didn’t see anyone for a while. They heard the shouts and curses and cries but they didn’t see anyone.

Beca’s nerves were on edge. She was pointing her wand at every shadow, jumping at every noise. She just wanted it to start already. It was like watching a wave build and build and knowing there was nothing you could do to stop it hitting you.

And then it started.

As they were walking down a corridor, an enormous fist suddenly slammed through one of the windows. Beca and Chloe threw themselves one way and Stacie, Aubrey and Jesse another.

They heard the deafening roar of the giant outside as it reared its fist back to try again.

“Move!” Chloe shouted, pulling Beca to her feet. They ran full sprint down the corridor, trying to get away from the side of the castle. “Keep going,” Chloe said, her hand on Beca’s back, urging her on.

“What about the others?” Beca asked, panting as they ran.

“I don’t know,” Chloe said, her voice strained. “We can’t go back that way.”

They kept running until they were able to turn into another passageway which lead them deeper into the castle, and away from the outside wall.

“Okay,” Beca said, her chest heaving as she tried to get her breath back. “I think we can stop.”

They stopped running and leaned against one of the walls.

“Man I’m out of shape,” Beca wheezed, her hand on her chest. “I need to work on my cardio.”

Chloe laughed as best as she could while breathing heavily herself. “Are you okay?”

Beca nodded. She tried to wipe the sweat out of her eyes only to discover it was blood.

She must have been hit by the falling debris and hadn’t even noticed.

“We should keep moving,” Chloe said.

And they did. Beca tried to figure out where in the castle they were, but it all seemed suddenly strange and alien to her. She knew the castle had a habit of rearranging itself, how many times had she climbed a staircase only to have it suddenly shift and turn? But this seemed different. She wondered if it was just another way of the castle trying to protect itself from the intruders.

“Do you know where we are?” She asked Chloe.

Chloe shook her head, biting her lip again.

It made Beca nervous about their chances of retreating back to the Great Hall if they needed to.

“Do you think Aubrey and the others are okay?” Chloe asked.

“Yeah,” Beca said, sounding more confident that she felt. “I’m sure they’re fine.”

They kept walking until they found themselves in a larger, more open room.

There were more people in this room. Some of them were students, some must have been members of the Order of the Phoenix, but most weren’t on their side, and all of them were engaged in heated battles, throwing curses and hexes at each other. The room was full of the sound of shouted spells and yells of fury and pain.

A side door opened across from them and a small group of Death Eaters were suddenly advancing.

“Expulso!” One of them cried, his wand pointed at them.

Before they’d even had time to react the stone column behind them exploded, and chunks of stone rained down on them.

“Is it Potter?” One of them asked. “One of them was a redhead, might be a Weasley.”

“No,” said a different voice. “I know who they are. Leave them to me. The rest of you get searching for Potter.”

Beca recognised the voice and she felt the fear flare up in her again. His approaching footsteps were getting louder.

Beca stood, breathing heavily, her wand pointed at the Death Eater in front of her. She could feel blood running down the side of her head, and she could taste it in her mouth.

The Death Eater was already pointing his own wand at her. His arm was shaking slightly, but she could see the hatred shining in his eyes behind the mask he wore.

She knew those eyes.

She knew that mask.

“Rebeca.”

“Dad.”

* * *

“Rennervate.”

Beca heard the word and then felt as if she was being pulled upwards and out of the darkness.

She opened her eyes, blinking up, confused and disoriented, at the concerned face of the woman crouched over her.

“What…”

“Are you alright?” The woman asked, helping her sit up.

“Yeah,” Beca said, feeling the back of her head which was sticky with blood. She looked around for her Dad, expecting him to be standing there, his wand raised, ready to curse her again. She felt sick and her head was pounding.

“Don’t worry, he’s gone. He ran off before I could get him,” the woman said.

Beca heard a moan of pain beside her and turned to see Chloe lying pinned beneath a large chunk of the exploded column.

“Chloe!” Beca said, scrambling to get near her. “Can you help me?”

“Of course,” the woman said. “I’ll levitate the stone off her, and you pull her out, okay?”

Beca nodded.

“Wingardium Leviosa!” The woman swished and flicked her wand and the chunk of stone rose into the air.

Chloe let out a cry of pain and relief and Beca pulled her out of the remaining rubble.

“Are you okay?” Beca asked, brushing the dust and blood from her face. Chloe shook her head, her eyes screwed up in pain.

“You need to get back to the Great Hall,” the woman said, looking around her now. The fighting had mostly stopped in this area, but the woman seemed to be looking for someone. “Have either of you seen Remus Lupin? He was a teacher here a few years ago.”

They shook their heads.

“Damn. If you do see him, tell him his wife is looking for him, okay? Stay safe girls!”

And with that she was gone.

“Beca, I’m scared,” Chloe said, tears cutting through the dust that had settled on her cheeks.

“I know,” Beca replied, wishing she asked the woman to help them back before she’d ran off. “I know. I am too.” She managed to position them so they were slightly concealed amongst the rubble. A large chuck of castle wall was shielding them from the rest of the room, and Beca moved them so their backs were pressed up against it. She didn’t think Chloe would be able to walk right now, so she wanted them to be in a safe place while they waited for help.

“I want to go home,” Chloe said, her voice breaking. Beca pulled her closer, her arms wrapped around her shoulders, Chloe’s face buried in her neck. “I don’t want to fight anymore, I just want to go home.”

“I’ll get you home, I promise,” Beca said. She swallowed hard, trying to fight her own tears.

“You’ll get us both home,” Chloe said, her grip on Beca tightening.

“I’m already home, Chloe,” Beca said. “Hogwarts and you, that’s my home. It always has been. I love you, you know?”

She hadn’t said it before, but now seemed like the time. She was so afraid of not making it out alive, but even more afraid of dying without Chloe knowing how she really, truly felt.

“I love you too,” Chloe replied, moving away slightly so she could look at Beca. Chloe’s eyes were full of tears but Beca saw her own love and determination reflected back in them. Beca cupped her face and pulled her closer, kissing her with everything she had. As Chloe closed her eyes, the tears spilled over.

“Once this is over,” Chloe said, their foreheads resting together, “we can go home and start a real life together. We can get a place to live and we can get nice jobs and a… a fucking cat if we want.”

Beca let out something between a laugh and a sob.

“Can we get a dog instead?”

“We can have both. And chickens and a bloody Hippogriff,” Chloe said, both of them half laughing and half crying. “We can be together, and we can be happy.”

And then the fighting in the room started up again. The colours of the spells lit up the walls.

Beca clutched Chloe tighter, fear rising in her again, the day dreams of their future shattering.

_What are we doing here?_ Beca thought, her heart hammering as she held onto Chloe as hard as she could. _What the fuck are we doing here? We’re just kids._

_We’re just fucking kids._

They were just seventeen. Seventeen-year-olds fighting grown witches and wizards. They were technically of age but what did that mean? They were old enough to use magic away from school. Old enough to order a Firewhiskey at a pub. Old enough to die fighting in a war against the most powerful dark wizard of all time?

They didn’t feel old enough.

They felt like scared kids, hiding.

Chloe felt a longing for her mother. For her to come and take her home and protect her.

Beca, who had never known what the comfort and protection of a parent had felt like, just wanted to be somewhere, anywhere, safe.

The room fell quiet again. Beca counted to 100 in her head before peaking over their barrier. The room was empty.

Her head was still throbbing and she felt sick and tired. The urge to close her eyes and sleep was almost overwhelming. Someone would find them right? She almost gave in but forced her eyes open when she heard a small groan from Chloe.

She looked at her and saw she had gotten paler, her jaw clenched against the pain in her legs.

“Do you think you can walk?” Beca asked.

“I can try,” Chloe said, forcing her eyes open.

“We can wait if you want, someone might come and help us,” Beca said, her heart still pounding.

Chloe shook her head. “I don’t know how much longer I can wait, Beca,” she said. “I think I know where we are. now. The Great Hall isn’t too far from here.”

“Okay,” Beca said. She stood up and then helped Chloe to her feet, ignoring the dizziness that washed over her. She pulled one of Chloe’s arms around her shoulders and held her up. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Chloe said, gritting her teeth. “Let’s just go.”

They took their time, making their way through the now almost unrecognisable passageways and corridors of Hogwarts. Almost everything had been blasted apart. Suits of armour lay broken against walls. Portraits were slashed. Tapestries burned up. It made Beca want to cry.

But they pushed on.

“Almost there,” Chloe said, her voice sounding dangerously weak. “Almost-

"Avada Kedavra!”

Beca felt Chloe pull them down and they hid once again by a broken stone pillar.

Beca was breathing hard as she held Chloe close to her.

She heard more shouting and spell casting. Another flash of green light lit up the corridor, and it fell silent once again.

“Are you okay?” Beca asked, poking her head up to check that they were safe.

Chloe didn’t answer.

“Chloe?” Beca looked down and saw that the redhead was lying there, eyes closed. “Chloe.” Beca said, louder this time, a hint of panic in her voice.

_She’s just passed out_ , that’s all, she told herself, her heart threatening to break through her ribs. _Just from the pain. She’s still alive._

She must be.

She has to be.

With a trembling hand, Beca’s touched Chloe’s neck, searching for a pulse.

And she found nothing.

“No.”

Beca shook her and got no response.

“No, come on.” Her voice was shaking hard. Tears were falling quickly now, clouding her vision. “Chloe, come on. You can’t-” Her voice broke off into sobs and she tried to swallow them down. Tried to stay in control because maybe she could still help. Maybe someone could still help. “Baby please, you have to wake up. You can’t leave me here.”

And in her head came Voldemort’s voice offering an hour of safety. An hour to treat their injured. An hour to bury their dead.

And Beca screamed.

She screamed and yelled until they found her.

Aubrey was the first to reach them, shouting their names.

“Beca! Chloe!”

“Help her!” Was Beca’s strangled response. “Do something!”

“Beca…”

“Bring her back!”

Even when Aubrey dissolved into tears next to her, Beca refused to believe that there was nothing that could be done.

Because of course someone could do something.

Anything.

Chloe couldn’t be dead.

“Beca, come on,” Stacie said, softly. Her arm around her shoulder.

“You have to help her,” Beca said, her voice ragged and broken, her breathing coming in short and sharp grasps.

“She’s gone, Becs,” Stacie said, fighting to keep her own voice steady.

“She can’t be,” Beca said, before losing it completely.

Stacie half carried her to the Great Hall while Chloe was levitated on a stretcher just behind them.

Professor McGonagall was in there trying to sort out which people needed urgent treatment and who could wait. When she saw Beca she looked relieved, but the look quickly changed to shock and despair when she saw Chloe.

“Oh my goodness,” she whispered, rushing over.

Chloe was gently placed on the ground by the wizards levitating her, and they left the room again to search for more people.

“Miss Mitchell,” Professor McGonagall said, “come with me. We'll… We’ll get you something for the shock and get you cleaned up.”

But Beca shook her head, staring down at Chloe, the tears still coming thick and fast.

“I don’t want to leave her,” Beca said, her voice shaking. She sank to her knees beside her, and held her hand, pressing her lips to Chloe’s knuckles, choking out another sob.

This wasn’t fair. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end.

What good was magic if it couldn’t bring Chloe back to her?

She heard the sound of Aubrey’s soft crying, and the gentle murmured reassurances from Jesse.

She squeezed her eyes shut and wished harder than ever that they could switch places.

Why did that curse hit Chloe and not her?

“Beca,” Stacie said, putting her hand on her shoulder. “Your head is still bleeding, can I patch you up?”

Beca looked up and saw Stacie sitting there, her eyes red from crying. She nodded and let go of Chloe’s hand.

Stacie cleaned the blood, tears, sweat and dirt from her face before applying some essence of Dittany to close up the wound that was still bleeding.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Stacie asked.

“The back of my head got a little banged up,” Beca said.

Stacie moved behind her to check it, and Beca felt the slight sting of the Dittany being applied.

“Thanks,” Beca said.

“I’m so sorry about Chloe, Beca,” she said, and Beca’s eyes filled with tears again.

“I love her,” she said, letting Stacie pull her into a hug.

“I know,” Stacie said.

The four of them sat huddled around Chloe’s body for a long time. Beca never did stop crying.

When the final battle between Harry and Voldemort happened in the middle of the Great Hall, and Beca watched the duel that would decide the fate of their world, all she could think about was the pain in her chest that came from losing Chloe.

She couldn’t stand it. Not another second of it. But she had no choice in the matter.

There was no fixing this type of pain.

When Voldemort was defeated, Beca expected to feel some kind of relief but she didn’t.

In the back of her mind she knew something good had happened. Something amazing and momentous. She knew it meant no more of her friends would have to die.

But she couldn’t see past the pain.

“Miss Mitchell… Beca… could you come with me please?” Professor McGonagall asked.

Beca was so surprised that McGonagall had actually called her Beca, that she simply nodded and followed her without hesitation.

As they walked Beca cast her eyes across other people who had died in the battle. With a pang in her chest, she saw the woman who had helped them earlier, lying beside Remus Lupin, their hands almost touching.

“I am so very sorry, Beca,” she said. “Chloe was an amazing person. She was kind and clever and brave, and she will be missed by everyone who knew her.”

“Thank you professor,” Beca said, her voice catching in her throat again. “Does… Does her family know?”

“I believe Professor Sprout has notified them, yes. I am afraid to say I have some more sad news to give you,” she said, leading her into one of the side rooms.

Inside lay rows of those who had fought against them in the battle.

Beca spotted him almost immediately.

“I’m sorry, Beca,” she said. “I know he was fighting on You-Know… on Voldemort’s side, but he was still you father. And you are allowed to grieve for him.”

Beca looked at the man who had raised her, and she felt nothing. He had made growing up a misery. He had allowed his fellow Death Eaters to torture her. He’d duelled against her only hours before. If anything, she felt relief.

“Is it wrong that I’m glad?” Beca asked, her tone almost emotionless.

“No,” McGonagall said. “There isn’t a right or wrong way to process these feelings.”

“Can we go back?”

“Of course,” McGonagall said, her hand resting lightly on Beca’s back.

When they returned to the Great Hall, Chloe’s family was there. Aubrey was standing back from Chloe now, Jesse’s arm still around her shoulder. Stacie was still there, also standing back.

She could hear the cries of Chloe’s mother from the entrance to the Great Hall, and it stopped her in her tracks.

Chloe’s older brother was also crying, and her dad was doing everything in his power not to cry. The three of them were huddled together.

Beca saw that the blood had been cleaned from Chloe’s face, and she wondered if Stacie had done that. Chloe looked like she could have been sleeping.

She didn’t want to intrude on their grief, but she knew the bodies were being moved soon and she didn’t want to miss her last opportunity to say goodbye to Chloe. She made her way over.

“Mrs Beale?” She said, her voice still rough. Chloe’s mother looked up. “I'm… I’m so sorry. I tried to keep her safe. I’m sorry.”

She started crying hard again. She braced herself for them to shout and curse and blame her for letting their daughter get killed. But they didn’t. All three of them put their arms around Beca and she cried until there was nothing left.

“I’m so sorry,” she kept saying. “I loved her so much.”

After a few hours the Beales were preparing to leave, and they would be taking their daughter with them.

“You are more than welcome to come Beca,” Mrs Beale said.

“Thank you, but I have some things I need to sort out,” Beca said. The truth was that she couldn’t bear to go back to that house where she’d spent the last two summers which had been the happiest of her life. “I’ll come for the funeral though, if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” she said.

“Before you take her, can I say goodbye?”

Mrs Beale nodded, and Beca crouched down by her girlfriend.

“i have to say, I’m kinda pissed you didn’t come back as a ghost,” Beca said, trying hard not to cry. “You always threatened to haunt me whenever I annoyed you.” She took a shaky breath in and out. “I can’t even comprehend how much I’m going to miss you Chloe. You were… You are… everything. You’re my home. And I love you. And now you’re going home.” She started crying again. “I promised I’d get you home, Chloe.”

She could hear Chloe’s parents crying again. She could hear Aubrey and Stacie crying again.

“This isn’t fair,” Beca choked out. “She should still be here, this isn’t fair.”

She felt Stacie holding her.

Chloe was covered with a sheet and someone began to levitate her again, and Beca’s heart was hammering in her chest.

She’d never see her again.

In the end, it took a sleeping draught to get her to stop crying. When Beca was offered a few hours of blissful dreamless sleep, she took it immediately. The hospital wing was full, so the girls went to their dorm. Beca didn’t have the energy to change for bed, so once she’d kicked off her shoes and sat on the bed, Stacie handed her the potion. Tears were still spilling down her cheeks. She wiped her eyes impatiently before drinking the potion.

“Stacie,” she said, lying down, “thank you.”

“For what?” Stacie asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.

But Beca had already fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me?


	8. Epilogue

Beca arrived back in Hogsmeade on the night before the one year anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. Hogwarts was hosting a memorial service honouring those who had fallen and celebrating the victory they’d won. Beca still wasn’t sure how she was gonna face it.

She felt sick and shaky as she walked around the picturesque village. She had a room booked in the Hog’s Head booked for the night, and she was eager to get there so she could have a drink and settle her nerves. It took a glass or two of Firewhiskey to get her through the day now.

As she made her way to the inn she passed by a new statue that had been erected in the centre of the village square. The statue showed what appeared to be a Hogwarts student with their wand aimed at some unseen foe. The student’s long hair was flowing behind her, her face held an expression of determination.

She didn’t remember it being that way, but she figured no one wanted a statue that showed children cowering behind a broken pillar.

The student was stood on a plinth that had ‘To those who fought and died at the Battle of Hogwarts’ engraved on it. Below was a list of names.

Beca found hers quickly. Her eyes filled with tears as she reached up to brush her fingers against the engraved gold lettering.

'Chloe Beale, 17.’

The list was made up of over 50 names with their ages, all of them had died fighting against Voldemort and his followers. There were no Death Eaters memorialised on this statue, she saw.

She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand and made her way to the Hog’s Head.

She really needed that drink.

The inside of the Hog’s Head was dark and grubby and busier than she’d like, but it she knew it was still considerably quieter than the Three Broomsticks would be. She was in too much danger running into people there, and she wasn’t ready to face her friends yet.

“Hey, I have a room booked for two nights,” Beca said, approaching the bar.

“Name?” The gruff barman asked, opening a large book and looking down at the list of names.

“Beca Mitchell,” she replied.

His eyes flicked up from the book.

“Student?”

“I was. I’m not now,” she said. She could feel her hands sweating and her stomach turning.

He grunted and seemed satisfied. She let out a sigh of relief. She was tired of people asking her about the battle. She had to relive it every night in her dreams, she didn’t want to talk about it when she was awake.

He dropped a key on the bar in front of her. “Room 12,” he said.

She pocketed the key but didn’t leave the bar. “Can I get a double Firewhiskey?”

He poured out her drink. “On the house,” he said.

“Why?” Beca asked, her hand in her bag, ready to pull out her money.

“Kids that fought in that battle don’t pay for drinks here,” he said.

“How do you know I fought?”

“You’ve got that look in your eye,” he said.

She drank the Firewhiskey in one swallow and felt immediately better. The fire spread down her throat and into her stomach, burning away the sickness and anxiety that had settled in her since she’d arrived.

He poured another for her. “Take it easy with this one,” he said, screwing the lid back on the bottle and replacing it on the shelf. “Carry on drinking it like that and you’ll do yourself some damage.”

“The damage is already done,” she said, tipping the glass back. “Thanks for the drinks.”

She climbed down off the barstool and made her way up to her room. Carrying her trunk and empty owl cage with her. Newt was out hunting and Beca didn’t expect to see him for a few nights. He always found where she was though.

It was only 10pm but she changed into some pyjamas and climbed into bed. The bed was small and the mattress was lumpy, but Beca didn’t mind.

The Firewhiskey had done its job, and Beca found she could think about Chloe without it causing her too much pain.

She pulled a photograph out of her wallet, and curled up on her side watching it.

It was a photo of her and Chloe, taken during that first blissful summer they had spent together.

The two were laughing and hugging and just basking in the joy of being together.

“I miss you,” she whispered, wishing Chloe could hear her. Wishing she could respond.

* * *

She woke up the next morning with a stiff neck from the bed, and a dull ache in her head from the Firewhiskey.

The carriages to take them up to Hogwarts were leaving Hogsmeade station at 11am, so Beca showered and dressed and made her way back down into the bar.

She didn’t feel ready to do this. She didn’t want to see Hogwarts again, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to see her friends again. The last time she’d seen them was at Chloe’s funeral, and although she’d replied to the occasional letters they’d sent, she knew she should have made more of an effort to keep in touch.

“You after some breakfast?” The barman from last night asked as Beca sat up on a stool.

Beca shook her head. “Can I get a coffee?”

He nodded and flicked his wand. The coffee maker in the corner started rattling and a few seconds later a cup of lukewarm coffee slid across the bar and stopped in front of her.

She took a sip and tried not to grimace at the taste.

The bar had a few people in it, but it was pretty quiet so she easily heard the tinkle of a bell as the door to the inn opened.

“Beca?”

Beca turned and saw Stacie standing there.

“Hey,” Beca said, feeling a rush of anxiety mixed with a sudden desire to cry. She had missed Stacie a lot, but she was afraid she’d be mad at her for not keeping in touch.

To Beca’s relief, Stacie crossed the room quickly and pulled Beca into a hug.

“Shit, it’s good to see you,” Stacie said, closing her eyes as she felt Beca hug her back, tightly. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“Sorry,” Beca said, not ready to let go yet. “It's… It’s just been hard, you know?”

“I know,” Stacie replied.

“How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t,” Stacie said, their hug finally ending. “But you weren’t at the Three Broomsticks with the others so I figured if you were anywhere it would be here. Now,” she placed her hands on Beca’s shoulders so she could look into her eyes, “how are you?”

Beca gave a small laugh and shook her head. “I’m fucking terrible,” she said.

“Yeah,” Stacie said with a sigh, “I figured as much.”

“How are you?”

“I’m okay,” Stacie said. “I get nightmares a lot. The occasional panic attack. You know, you’re standard PTSD stuff. But I’ve been working through it all with my therapist, so it’s better than it was. Plus I got a job at St Mungo’s and they’re training me to be a Healer which is pretty cool.”

“That’s awesome, Stace. Not the PTSD stuff, but the therapist and the Healer stuff. I’m so proud of you,” Beca said, genuinely happy for the first time in a long time. Stacie had always wanted to be a Healer throughout their school years, but since none of them had been able to take their N.E.W.T.s it was harder for them to get the jobs they wanted. She knew Stacie and Aubrey had gone back to do their exams but Beca hadn’t wanted to. She wasn’t really sure what she wanted to do anymore anyway.

“Thanks,” Stacie said, grinning. “What about you then? What have you been doing with yourself?”

Beca looked down at her watch and saw it was 10:40. “We should get going,” she said.

“You’ll fill me in later?”

“Yeah,” Beca said. “There isn’t much to tell though.”

“I still wanna hear about it,” Stacie said as they walked out of the Hog’s Head and towards Hogsmeade station. “Aubrey and the others are meeting us there.”

Beca nodded but was starting to feel sick and nervous again.

She wasn’t ready to see the castle again.

She wanted to turn around and walk back to the Hog’s Head. She wanted to grab her stuff from her room and disapparate. She just wasn’t sure where she wanted to go. She still hadn’t found home.

But as her steps began to falter, she felt Stacie put a hand on her back.

“It’ll be okay,” she said, as if she was reading her mind. “I was really freaking out before I went back to do my N.E.W.T.s but it was fine. Just focus on all the good memories you had there, not the bad ones.”

Beca nodded again, because she didn’t have it in her to answer.

She didn’t want to say that the happy memories hurt just as much as the bad ones because they reminded her of what she had lost.

Just past Hogsmeade station she saw crowds of people who were waiting to be taken up the castle. Hagrid was there, helping groups of people into the carriages which would be pulled along by the Thestrals.

With a jolt in her stomach she saw a group of people with red hair before realising they were Weasleys.

She needed a drink.

She greeted Aubrey and Jesse and her other friends without even being really aware of it. She didn’t feel present anymore. She felt like she was watching from the sidelines as she climbed into a carriage beside Stacie and the others.

The others were talking loudly but Beca couldn’t focus on what they were saying. She was thinking about all the other journeys she had taken in these carriages. With the exception of the one after the battle last year, Chloe had been in all of them.

Always happy, always excited, always endlessly chattering.

Tears filled her eyes as she stared out of the window, trying to forget.

She felt someone tapping her foot, and she looked down to see Aubrey sitting across from her, tapping her foot lightly with her shoe.

Beca’s eyes met Aubrey’s and she saw they were also full of tears.

“I miss her too,” she whispered, just loud enough for Beca to hear. “Every day.”

Beca nodded and swallowed, trying not to cry properly. She felt immensely guilty that she hadn’t reached out to Aubrey this whole year.

Chloe had been Aubrey’s best friend since they were little kids, they’d grown up together.

“I'm… I’m sorry,” Beca choked out, her voice barely audible.

The others seemed to notice something was happening and fell silent.

“I’m sorry,” Beca said, louder this time.

“Stacie, switch seats with me,” Aubrey said, her voice wavering. “Please.”

With difficulty, Stacie stood and swapped seats with Aubrey, so the blond was now sitting beside Beca.

Aubrey took Beca’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “Don’t say sorry,” Aubrey said. “You don’t have to be sorry, this wasn’t your fault.”

“I tried to keep her safe,” Beca said, crying hard now.

“I know you did,” Aubrey replied.

* * *

The memorial service passed by in a blur. Professor McGonagall had stood in front of them all and had talked about the battle.

She spoke about the victory they had won, but also about the losses they had suffered.

She read a list of the names of everyone who had lost their lives and then a two minute silence was held which even Peeves had observed.

Other professors and even the Minister for Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt made speeches, but Beca wasn’t really listening.

She wanted Chloe. She needed her. It was so unfair… so monstrously unfair that Chloe wasn’t here anymore and Beca couldn’t stand it. She’d spent the last year travelling around the country, using the money she’d made from selling her family home to stay in pubs and inns and even some muggle B&Bs, trying to outrun these feelings. She’d kept herself numb with Firewhiskey and whatever other alcohol she could buy, and had become adapt and mixing up sleeping draughts so she could sleep without fear of dreaming.

But now she was sober, and back in the only place she had ever called home, and she couldn’t run anymore.

She wasn’t the only one in the room who was struggling to hold it together, she knew that. The Great Hall was full of loss. Heavy with it. It touched everyone in the room. And Beca tried to remind herself that she wasn’t alone. She still had friends that cared. Friends that didn’t blame her for what had happened. Friends who felt the same pain she did.

But despite all of this she felt alone.

She had grown up without any kind of love in her life. She’d never gotten anything but cold disdain and hatred from her father and she’d never had friends until she’d gotten to Hogwarts.

Chloe had been the one to show her what love really felt like. Not just romantic love, but the love that comes from friendship and acceptance. Stacie had shown her too, and so did the rest of the friends she’d made, but Chloe was the one who’d singled her out on that first journey to Hogwarts. She’d recognised her surname, known what that meant, but befriended her anyway. Without Chloe she knew Aubrey wouldn’t have spoken to her. She wouldn’t have joined Flitwick’s choir and wouldn’t have found herself a group of friends that felt more like family than her own father did. Chloe had shown her what home felt like.

And now Chloe was gone.

Suddenly people around her started applauding and Beca realised the last of the speeches had finished.

“Hey Becs?” Stacie asked from beside her.

“Yeah?”

“Can we go outside? Please?”

“Yeah,” Beca said, noticing the way Stacie’s breathing was a little quicker than it had been. “Yeah of course.” She took Stacie’s hand and guided her through the crowd of people that were beginning to stand up from their benches and mingle with each other.

They made it out of the Great Hall and into the grounds and were soon sitting on the slope of grass beside the lake.

“Sorry about that,” Stacie said, trying to regain control of her breathing. “I’m not big on crowds and being back in there was rough. Sort of brought it all back.”

“That’s okay,” Beca said. “You don’t need to be sorry. Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Stacie said. “This just happens sometimes. Thanks for getting me out of there.”

“No problem,” Beca said.

“You keep disappearing,” Stacie said. She tapped Beca on her forehead. “In there.”

“Yeah,” Beca said. “I don’t mean to. I try to stay out of my head as much as I can but it’s been hard today. She’s just everywhere, you know?”

“I know,” Stacie said. “She was really special person. And I know she loved you as much as you loved her. And I can’t pretend to know how much it must hurt, but I just wanted to say you aren’t alone, Beca.”

Beca wiped her eyes and nodded, trying not to cry fully.

“I mean it,” Stacie continued. “You’re my best friend. I love you and I miss you. And I’m here for you, okay?”

Beca swallowed hard. “Thank you,” she choked out. “I miss you too, Stace. And I love you too. I’m sorry I’ve been such a shit friend this year. I just ran away. I thought it would help. I’m sorry.” And she started crying again but this time more from the guilt of abandoning her best friend for the past year. Stacie put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.

“Hey, shh, it’s okay,” she said. “Don’t apologise. You’re grieving Becs, there’s no wrong or right way to do it. Listen, where are you staying now?”

“The Hog’s Head?”

“No, I don’t mean like, right now. I mean, like where are you living?” Stacie asked.

“Oh, um, nowhere I guess,” Beca replied

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve just been traveling around the country this year. I tried to find my Mom’s family but from what I’ve found out they all died before I was born. I guess that’s why she was alone when she died and why I ended up in a foster home,” Beca said. “But I found her grave at least, and some pictures.” Beca sniffed and wiped her eyes again before she continued. “I don’t really have a home anymore Stacie. I’ve just been staying in pubs and inns trying to figure out what I want to do.”

“So what do you want to do?” Stacie asked.

“Get wasted mostly.”

“Beca,” Stacie sighed.

“I know. I know, it’s fucked up. I know it isn’t healthy. But I just… I miss her so fucking much. And when I drink enough I can stop thinking about her,” Beca said, her voice sounding ragged now. “I just want her back.”

“Of course you do,” Stacie said, squeezing her close again. “Look, I wanted to ask you something.”

“What’s that?”

“I want to move out and get a place of my own. I love my parents and everything, but I feel like it’s time to, like, take the next step. And I wanted to know if you wanted to move in with me?”

Beca was so taken aback she pulled herself out of Stacie’s arms so she could look at her. “Wait, what? For real? Why would you want to live with me?”

Stacie let out a slight huff. “Loads of reasons. Number one, you’re my best friend.” She started ticking them off on he fingers. “Number two, I miss you and I miss living with you. Number three, you’re suffering and I hate that you’re doing it alone. Number four-”

“Okay,” Beca said, cutting her off. “Okay, I get it. Are you sure about this Stace? I don’t have a job or anything yet, and I have money from my dad but it won’t last forever and… I’m not the same. I'm… I feel so angry now. I don’t want you to see that side of me.”

“You think I’m the same as I used to be? I’m angry too, Beca. And I’m scared. A lot. I get panic attacks and nightmares. Did you know that during the battle Aubrey, Jesse and I ended up trapped in a corridor in the pitch black with a bunch of snatchers? One of them had used that Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder without realising it would stop them from seeing too, and they started just throwing out killing curses in a panic. They killed each other but it was only pure luck that they didn’t get us. I need to sleep with a fucking night light now,” Stacie said, looking angry for the first time all day. “None of us are the same anymore. The battle fucked us all up.”

“I’m sorry Stacie,” Beca said, feeling immensely guilty again. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay,” Stacie said. “So, what do you think? I can’t do this alone, and I want to do it with you.”

Beca hesitated. “Are you sure about this?” She asked.

“More than sure,” Stacie said.

Beca took a deep breath. “Okay,” she said, allowing herself a smile.

“Yeah? You want to?”

“I want to,” Beca said.

How could she say no? Stacie was offering her what she’d been searching for. Stacie was offering her a home.

**The End.**


End file.
